Betrayed
by Tenebres d'Eden
Summary: Heartbroken and betrayed, James seek a way to end his pain by becoming Voldemort's highest-ranking assassin. Can Lily truly get him back? [COMPLETE]
1. Enlightened

_Betrayed_

**I**

* * *

**Summary**: Sometimes, the consequences of a betrayal are your worst nightmares. 

**Disclaimer**: If you had half a brain, you would know that every single character from the _Harry Potter_ book series belong to J.K. Rowling.

* * *

"Is this going to be the day, Prongs?" Sirius asked his best friend as he lazily directed his horse to kill his opponent's prawn. 

James, who was sitting by the window in the common room, just glared defiantly at him.

"Don't keep bugging him about it," Remus said, watching his queen crush Sirius' horse.

"Aw... why not?" Sirius inquired innocently. "As Prongs' _best_ friend, I believe that I have the right to ask him certain things other people..." he glanced at Peter and Remus, "certainly cannot."

"Hey!" Peter, who was sitting on one of the armchairs near Sirius and Remus, cried.

"Ignore him," Remus sighed, shaking his head. "Oh yeah, Sirius... _checkmate_."

The rebellious seventeen-year old teen looked at the chess board once and groaned in defeat.

"Never wanted to play in the first place..." he muttered as he pulled something from his pants' pocket.

"Oh really?" Remus asked smugly. "Then why did you bet me ten galleons that you would win this match?"

"Don't remind me."

Sirius then tossed a piece of parchment towards Remus, who stared at it in disgust.

"Oh no... not _again_," he groaned as he picked up another of Sirius' I. O. U.'s. "Padfoot, I honestly don't believe you are _that_ broke."

Sirius just shrugged carelessly.

"Hey... as long as I pay you back, it doesn't matter how many I. O. U.'s you get," he retorted.

"Seventy-three," Remus answered darkly, throwing a menacing look at Sirius.

"What?"

"I said, since we knew each other, you gave me _seventy-three_ I.O.U. slips that, I should mention, you _never_ paid back."

Peter whistled in amazement; James smirked; Sirius started laughing meekly.

"Don't worry, old friend, I'll pay you back... eventually," Sirius quickly explained while smiling guiltily.

To avoid a further confrontation from Remus, Sirius rapidly got up and went over to James.

"When are you _ever_ going to tell her?" he hissed in his ear.

"Today," James answered evenly. "I swear I will."

However, Sirius just cackled at his reply. James, furious, threw a death glare at his best friend, who immediately shut up.

"Look, Prongs," Sirius said, trying to keep a straight face, "you have sworn to yourself that you would tell her since the first day of September. But do you know what month it is now? It's November... and you _still_ didn't tell her."

Right after he finished that sentence, he started laughing again, unable to contain himself despite James' dark looks. James felt like hitting his friend for his lack of sympathy but decided against it in the last minute. Instead, he replied calmly:

"I know I usually cowered out in the last minute, but today will be different."

"How's that?" Sirius asked, interested.

"Because this time, _you'll_ be there to make sure I won't mess up."

"_What!_" Sirius stared dumfounded at his friend, unable to find the appropriate words to say. Finally, when he regained his speech ability, he asked: "Are you serious!"

"Yes," James answered seriously. "Before, I tried to bring Moony and Wormtail with me so they could stop me from running away, but they... didn't manage to stop me. But _you_..." he gazed meaningfully at Sirius, "have the ability to stop anybody in their tracks, so I think that you should come with me this time."

"But..." Sirius was about to object when Remus shouted:

"Padfoot! You owe me five hundred forty-five galleons!"

"You've got to be _kidding_ me!" Sirius' jaw literally dropped as he heard that. "You must've made a mistake somewhere, Moony!"

As Sirius ran to Remus and totally forgot about the previous subject they were talking about, James smirked. Whether Sirius liked it or not, he would have to come along with James. _And this time... I WILL do it,_ the Quidditch captain vowed as he got up from his chair to meet with a certain redhead girl.

----- ----- -----

"Are you reading one of those stupid romance novels... _again?_"

Kristen snickered at her own comment as she pushed a strand of her short, straight black hair away from her face. Carla, still absorbed in her book, just mumbled a "shut-up, Kristen" without even looking up.

"Seriously, are you reading _The Beast & The Girl _again? How many times can you stand that book!" Kristen asked, her voice this time even louder.

This time, Carla did look up, only to throw a furious glare at her supposed best friend.

"For one thing, the book is called _The Beauty & The Beast_," she snapped, angrily shutting her book closed. "And second, this happens to be a famous classic... as well as my favorite book!"

Before Kristen could open her mouth to come up with a witty reply, Lily, who had been nearly invisible for all this time, finally spoke up:

"Be quiet, Kristen."

"Thank-you!" Carla exclaimed, sighing. "I didn't know how long I could've stood this girl any longer!"

She pointed an accusing finger at Kristen, who only smirked and answered coolly:

"You managed to stand me for more than seven years, so you can certainly stand me for a few seconds."

Despite the fact that this argument was a very old one, Lily had to suppress a giggle. Although her best friends Carla and Kristen constantly bickered with each other, they remained friends ever since they were nine. They had a lot to fight about, since they both had opposite viewpoints on many things. Kristen Taylor was a short, rebellious girl with straight black hair and challenging dark brown eyes. She was the star chaser in the Gryffindor team (even better than Sirius, who was also a very skilled Gryffindor chaser), and it seemed as if she actually _wanted_ trouble from the teachers by opposing what they said as many times as she could (unlike the marauders, who often tried to _avoid_ trouble). Kristen also hated anything related to romance, or 'mushy crap' as she called it; she thought that only daydreamers who didn't have anything better to do 'waited for their prince to arrive and whisk them away on his horse'.

Carla Mason was another thing entirely: she had a slender body with an angelic face framed with perfect ringlets of long golden blond hair to match. Many people thought that she was the prettiest girl in Hogwarts. Not only that, but she believed that the students should listen to the teachers if they wished to gain anything useful, and she was the only person in the whole Gryffindor house who, not only was good at Potions, but actually _liked_ the class. Carla was also gifted with a third eye that could see into the future (another thing that Kristen loved to tease about), and a strong belief that 'love could conquer all.'

Sometimes Lily envied her best friends, because they seemed to have everything she had ever wished for. Since her first year at Hogwarts, Lily always wanted to be in Gryffindor's Quidditch team; unfortunately, she knew she had no chance ever since she realized that it took her twenty-minutes to get on a broom without falling. Now she somewhat gave up on that dream, although sometimes she felt a tiny speck of hope within her. And of course, what kind of girl wouldn't want to be as beautiful and sophisticated as Carla (except Kristen)?

But Lily had to admit that she had her own special qualities: she was now the Head Girl, as long as the best student in Hogwarts (besides James). However, she now wished that she had a fair dose of courage, because she wanted to tell a certain _somebody_ today about a very important subject... A subject that required a large amount of courage she didn't have, considering the fact that she had fidgeted all day long, thinking and dreading about it.

"So... what did you think about Charms today?" Lily asked, trying to hopefully stop another trivial fight between Kristen and Carla.

"Who cares about my opinion?" Kristen sighed dramatically. "All I know is that you probably _loved_ it."

She then feigned a glare at Lily, who just rolled her eyes in amusement.

"It was okay, I guess," Carla replied, ignoring what Kristen just said, "although I probably need your help later for the assignment."

"Don't worry," Lily assured her. "I'll do whatever I can, and I don't really think that the homework will be hard at all."

Carla was about to add something when she was very rudely cut off by Kristen.

"Look there, everybody! There's Black and Potter!" she whispered, snickering as she pointed at the two boys.

"Don't you think that you should call them by their first names, considering the fact that you knew them since first year?" Carla questioned, her eyebrow raised.

Kristen ignored Carla's question by gently tugging Lily's sleeve and murmuring:

"Potter's coming your way."

"I can see that," Lily retorted, trying to act nonchalant, although she started feeling uneasy all over again.

She tried to grasp the words she wanted to tell him, but now it seemed as if they have all escaped from her mind. She cursed silently.

"Hey, Lily!" James came over and greeted her pleasantly.

The Head Girl managed to smile without twitching as she replied:

"Hi, James."

Gazing in his warm hazel eyes, Lily saw the past she had shared with him since the first day they had set eyes on each other. In their first year, they had immediately become best friends. During that time, it had being only her and James... and Sirius. Although she sometimes felt left out during those days when James and Sirius would share jokes and secrets only they could understand, Lily managed to become one of them and laugh along most of the times. Then, in their second year, Remus and Peter came along, and Lily found it even harder to maintain her relationship with James.

But somehow, she managed to survive that year, although it wasn't as fun-filled as the last. Sooner than she thought, she was in her third year, and Kristen and Carla became better friends than they had been before. Slowly but surely, she began to drift away from James as he and the rest began to form the marauders. The fourth year had been the hardest year of all: it was the year when James realized that he loved Lily more than anything in the world. Unfortunately for him, it was also the year when Lily learned that James had ceased being the boy who was her former best friend and become an egotistical, stupid, bullying toerag. And from fifth year to sixth year, it had been _hell_.

Luckily, in the beginning of their seventh year, when Lily found out that James was Head Boy, they managed to cool things down between each other. James promised her that he would stop bullying and hexing people for no reason whatsover and take his new responsibilities seriously. Although in the beginning Lily seriously doubted him, he had proven that if he tried hard enough, he could not only keep his promise, but _exceed_ one's expectations of him. And now, they had become friends again.

However, while James thought that they were on first-name terms again because of his newly-acquired responsible outlook, the truth was... Lily once again accepted him as a friend once he told her that he didn't have a crush on her anymore. But as she stared at his familiar and comforting face, she regretted it fully, because now...

"I have something to tell you," James suddenly brought her back to Earth with these rushed words.

"What?" Lily asked, surprised.

"Come," he ordered, gently grabbing her sleeve and leading her away from her friends.

Because James was a pretty fast person, she almost had to jog to keep up with his hurried pace. But although she was concerned about what he wanted to tell her, she still couldn't help catch Sirius' disbelieving and furious face before James led her out of the castle and onto the Quidditch field.

"Why are we out here... _now_?" Lily inquired, confused.

She turned to James, who now had his back to her.

"It's because..." he mumbled, but was unexpectedly interrupted when Lily blurted out:

"I have something to tell you."

"You do?" he asked, turning around and appearing very taken back and surprised.

"And I bet you do, too."

James just nodded shyly, seeming to search for the right words to say... which was exactly what she was trying to do now. After a few moments of complete awkward silence, James finally turned to her and opened his mouth at the exact second Lily couldn't help crying:

"I love you."

_Did he just say what I heard him say...?_ Lily wondered in shock as she automatically took a step back. _No, it couldn't be..._

"What?" they both echoed each other's words.

"I said I love you!"

Dumbfounded, they stared at each other in amazement and astonishment. James was the first one to regain his posture.

"Maybe next time... we should take turns blurting out what we want to say, don't you agree?" he asked, grinning.

"Uh... yeah," Lily answered slowly.

"And to answer the question you have in mind... yes, I do mean every word I just said."

"You do?" Lily couldn't help asking.

"I do," James answered, nodding and grinning. "But do _you_?"

For a minute, Lily just stood there, trying to absorb everything she just heard. Then, finally she replied:

"Of course I do."

However, she couldn't help adding:

"But then... you _lied_ to me."

"What?" James asked, frowning and clearly surprised at what she just said.

"Do you remember what you told me on September the first? You told me that you didn't have a crush on me anymore... but then, why did you just say that you loved me?"

"It's because..." James quietly answered and looked up towards the sky. "It's because I knew before that you never believed me when I said that you were the only girl for me... so that's why I told you that day that I stopped liking you to make you happy. But right away I realized that it was a lie, and since then, I tried to tell you that I _did_ love you, and that I would never, ever love another person the way I love you."

"Really?"

James just gazed at her before beaming and answering:

"Of course."

She wished that she could reply right away, but she was still somewhat in shock. After a few moments, James looked quizically at her before inquiring:

"Isn't this the part where you jump on me and say, 'James, I love you so much!'?"

When he said that, Lily suddenly came back to life as she coolly answered:

"Potter, you toerag, bite your tongue."

He just laughed out loud, his joy sincere and apparent as his laughter echoed throughout the whole Quidditch field. Lily came up to him, and he wrapped his arms around her, bringing them even closer together.

"I'll love you forever, Lils," he tenderly whispered in her ear with a note of confidence.

"That's such an old line," she retorted, although she was giggling.

James just shrugged carelessly before lifting her chin and drawing her into a long, passionate kiss. Lily wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling and loving the warmth of his body as well as the gently, blissful kiss itself. As they both enjoyed the moment, the setting sun cast a thousand brilliant colors upon them, highlighting their exhilarating happiness.

* * *

**A/N:** I really, really, _really_ hoped that you enjoyed this chapter... because just to let you know, I'm not the type of person who likes writing mushy stories... so in conclusion, it took me a great effort to write this chapter out! Just to tell you, this is probably going to be a four-chapter story, and if you _loved_ this chapter and want to see more James + Lily bonding, I warn you that the next three chapters will be nothing like the first. That is all. 

My fanfic will also probably twist (or completely ignore) the already-given out information J.K. Rowling gave out in her books, so please don't bother pointing any of this out.

I would really enjoy your comments and critics, so please review... and the best (or only) reviewer will get Sirius' motorcycle!

Sirius: Hey! You have no right to sell my motorcycle!

Y Sunshine: It's not yours anymore, is it?

Sirius (mumbling): I should've never given my precious motorcycle to Hagrid...

See how valuable Sirius' motorcycle is! He'll probably hunt you down until he gets it, so be the best reviewer and get this rare and beautiful motorcycle!


	2. Crushed

_Betrayed_

**II

* * *

**

**Summary**: Sometimes, the consequences of a betrayal are your worst nightmares.

**Disclaimer**: All _Harry Potter_ characters J.K. Rowling's... Get it?

* * *

"How do I look, Padfoot?" 

"Prongs, you look like everything Lily thinks you are... a _toerag._"

James glared daggers at Sirius, who just lay on his bed in the boys' dormitory, snickering.

"_Seriously_, Padfoot," James said through gritted teeth as he looked at himself in the mirror. "How do I look?"

Sirius finally sat up and inspected his best friend. It was the night of the graduation ball, a night that all four marauders have been looking forward to since the beginning of the year. Although the rest of the marauders were excited about this special event merely because of the prank they were about to pull on everybody, James had a particular reason to anticipate it: it would be his and Lily's first ball together. And now, as Sirius gazed at a very nervous James, he couldn't help grin.

"Relax, Prongs," he replied. "You look exactly how I look... except, of course, I'm better-looking, and hotter, and s-..."

"Shut-up."

Sirius couldn't help smirking as he pushed a strand of his black hair out of his face. For the very special night, he was wearing a blood red dress robe, while James was wearing a midnight blue one. He continued staring at James, who kept trying –for once- to tame his wild, jet-black hair. He finally got bored of it all when his friend started rearranging his glasses in odd positions.

"Okay, mate," Sirius declared. "It's time to go down to the Great Hall, either you like it or not! I'm really getting tired of looking at you making a fool of yourself... before you even went downstairs!"

James was about to reply when the dormitory door suddenly opened to reveal Remus and Peter.

"You both look very good," Peter complimented them politely.

James just rolled his eyes and snickered while Sirius replied disgustedly:

"_You both look very good_... can you come up with anything more informal than that... _please!_"

Remus just took one glance at James' hair before calmly commenting:

"I see that you've tried combing your hair, haven't you, Prongs?"

"Yeah, and it didn't do me any good," James answered, scowling. He then quickly changed the subject by saying: "_I _see that you've finally found a good dress robe, Moony!"

Remus blushed slightly but still had the courage to say:

"Forest green is a very good color for dress robes... and it's even better on me."

"Green is Slytherin's color," Sirius pointed out while eyeing Remus' robe with a little distaste. But when the smarter marauder threw an intimidating glare at him, he rapidly recovered by noting: "But it does look respectable on you, Moony!"

"What about my robe?" Peter asked, almost whining.

"It looks..." James took one look at the dull yellow robe Peter was wearing and decided that it was the worst robe he had ever seen. But unwanting to hurt one of his best friend's feelings, he remarked: "It matches your hair perfectly."

However, Sirius, who was never afraid to tell people what he actually thought, cried:

"Wormtail, who chose that robe for you...? Your _mum!_"

Peter reddened considerably while Remus scolded Sirius for his incompetence. Finally, in an attempt to diverge the previous subject, Remus asked:

"Is the plan ready?"

"Is a werewolf sitting next to me?" Sirius asked mockingly.

Remus silenced Sirius by suffocating him with a pillow and then calmly repeated his question:

"Is the plan ready?"

"MmmF... SmmPH... UmPH!" Sirius cried, struggling to get the pillow out of his face.

"It should be all set, right, Wormtail?" James answered cheerfully, deliberately ignoring Sirius' cries for help.

"I hope so," Peter replied, fidgeting. "I hope I won't do anything to mess it up..."

"Don't worry," James reassured him. "You won't. Now Moony..." he then turned to his other friend, who was still holding a pillow against Sirius' face. "Don't you think that you suffocated Padfoot enough?"

"Actually no, but I guess that I'll have to let him go eventually," Remus said, and then sighing, he lifted the pillow from Sirius' face.

"I'll kill you for that, Moony!" Sirius bellowed, but then quickly regained his posture when he said: "But I, being the exquisite gentleman I am, will hold the homicide until tomorrow."

Remus gave Sirius a skeptical look while James and Peter just snickered.

"Hey, Prongs!" Sirius suddenly cried out to James. "Do you remember that faithful day in November? Why in the hell did you bring me with you if you suddenly decided to run away with Lily in the end!"

He pretended to scowl at James, who just shrugged and answered:

"Hey, I didn't know what I was about to do until the last minute... so you really can't blame me."

And then unexpectedly, James remembered a familiar and disturbing memory.

"Do you remember what Carla said to me and Lils a month ago?" he asked his other friends.

"Hmm... that you looked perfectly cute together?" Sirius guessed innocently.

"No," James snapped, scowling at him. "She told me that although she's happy that we're together, somehow she had this feeling that it won't last..."

Remus was the only one who remained unfazed as the other two marauders collapsed laughing.

"Seriously, Prongs!" Sirius chuckled. "Do you actually believe her? I mean, she's as fake as the Divination professor!"

"Although I have to agree that it does seem very unlikely, I have to admit that it does give me an uneasy feeling..." Remus commented. "For one thing, Lily herself is certain that her friend has the gift of seeing into the future, and she said that many of Carla's predictions did come true, but-..."

"But it's not going to happen because Lily and James are just crazy for each other!" Sirius rudely finished Remus' sentence, cackling loudly.

Peter just nodded as he laughed along with Sirius while Remus glared angrily at both of them. James, however, was glad that his friends –or at least _most_ oft them- thought that it was all rubbish, because...

_I really want this to last._

Lily was, whether he liked it or not, everything he wanted and ever since they started going out many months ago (it was now June), he tried to make it work. Sure, like other couples, they had their rows –sometimes Lily had the nerve to throw in a 'I hate you, Potter!'- but overall, they tolerated each other perfectly and were happy. Sometimes, his thoughts would drift to the possibility of Lily dumping him, and every time he pondered about it, it would hurt him and cause dread to flow through his body. He really wanted this relationship to work; he really wanted to make Lily happy...

_And I don't know what I would do if she was gone_.

----- ----- -----

"Hey, Lils! Who is it?" James mischievously cried as he put his hands over Lily's eyes.

"James Potter!" she nearly screeched. "How many times did I tell you _not_ to do that to me!"

Several other students in the common room just smiled or laughed at the incident, knowing that this wasn't the first time.

"Sorry, Lils," James replied, sounding not the least bit apologetic. "Probably didn't hear you say it the first time, or the second time, or the thir-..."

He was about to go on when he saw Lily's face: instead of the normal annoyed expression she usually wore when he did something she told him at least a million times not to, she had a sad and worried visage.

"Are you okay?" James suddenly became anxious. "Did somebody in your family die?"

When she looked away and didn't answer, James quickly said:

"I know that I usually don't say the right things... so let me make it up to you by telling you how beautiful you look tonight!"

And indeed he wasn't lying: she looked like a stunning angel with her worried emerald green eyes and long, flowing sky blue robe. But when she still didn't answer, James became seriously concerned.

"Really, Lils, are you okay?" he questioned. "You know you can talk to me about it... I'll understand even if I can't find the right words to say!"

A few moments of silence went by, and when Lily finally spoke, nobody except James was there to hear the words she uttered:

"James... I can't go to the ball with you."

For a long moment, James couldn't think about anything to say as terrible possibilities went through his mind. But when he finally found his voice, his tone was not angry or shocked but forgiving:

"It's okay, Lils, really. I mean, I can understand if one of your family members died or something like that happened! We can have fun together another time and-..."

He got cut off short when Lily quietly said:

"We won't have fun together anymore, James."

Now completely speechless, James just stood there as Lily finally looked at him directly in the eye and continued:

"I wish I could say this in a gentler way... but I can't: I've fallen for somebody else, James."

He just stared at her, unwilling to believe what she just said. But deep inside, the damage was already done: his heart broke.

_How could she...?_

"I know it sounds harsh, but I couldn't help it: he just came along and I fell for him. I tried to tell myself that you were the only one for me... but now I know..."

Tears started to fill her sweet, sad emerald eyes as she whispered:

"You're not."

_You're not, you're not, you're not..._ Striking, malicious voices kept whispering those words in his head. But what did she want more from him...? _I already gave her all I had..._

"Last week," Lily continued. "I asked him if he could go to the graduation ball with me, and he accepted. I wanted to tell you sooner, or even before, but it was so hard. But now, I gathered up the courage to tell you before you really got hurt."

_Don't worry about me, Lils. It didn't matter if you told me or not. I'm already crushed._

"I know you must be really angry, James... but I honestly didn't see this happening, and if I could've controlled it... it would've never happened."

Under normal circumstances, if a girl dumped him for another guy, he would've yelled and cursed at her, showing exactly what he thought about the situation. But this... this was _Lily_. No matter how much she had hurt him already, he still wanted to make her happy. So containing all his frustration, sadness, and anger, James managed to keep an expressionless face and quietly said:

"I hope the two of you will have an enjoyable evening together."

He then immediately turned around and left.

"James...!"

For one brief blissful moment, he thought that she changed her mind. But when he turned around and saw the same sad and worried face, he knew that he was just fantasizing.

"James..." Lily repeated his name, struggling and failing to find reassuring words to say to him.

"Good-night," he told her, and this time he gave her a bitter smile before departing.

----- ----- -----

"Take that, Professor Howard! And double points, Padfoot: you got Snivellus, too!"

Sirius laughed from his hiding spot, unable to contain his glee as he watched Snape and the potions teacher get soaked in irremovable pumpkin juice. For the graduation ball, all four marauders had planned to embarrass their least favorite professors by dumping juice on them. Of course, the juice was charmed so that it was irremovable for at least a week; not only that, James came up with the brilliant idea of making them smell like dung, too. The latest prank was a one-man job: each marauder was responsible for coming up with an idea of dumping their own kind of juice on a certain professor. Sirius chose Professor Howard, because not only did he immensely favor the Slytherins, but he also once added newt eyes to Sirius' sleeping potion when he wasn't looking, thus exploding his cauldron. To make sure he wasn't caught, Sirius created a very clever muggle-like device to pour twenty gallons of charmed pumpkin juice on the evil professor. Coincidentally, Snape was near Professor Howard during that precise moment, making Sirius' victory more enjoyable.

"Good prank, Padfoot," Remus congratulated him once Sirius came out of his hiding spot, making sure nobody was suspicious about him.

"Thanks, mate," Sirius smirked as he saw Professor Howard desperately trying to remove the disgusting substance. "I believe that everyone now did their hoax, right?"

"I don't think James did…" Peter, who was right beside Remus, answered slowly.

Sirius just sighed as he shook his head mockingly:

"Prongs, Prongs, Prongs… what shall we ever do about him? Not only is he obsessed with his girlfriend, but if he isn't careful, Professor McGonagall will have his head."

He was referring to what James had organized for the Transfiguration professor. Because she was the teacher who gave the marauders the most detentions, James planned to have revenge by dumping what seemed like _blood_ (it was actually strawberry juice charmed to taste and look like it temporarily) on the strict professor. But as Sirius looked around the Great Hall, he couldn't find his best friend at all.

"Where is he…?" he inquired, frowning.

"That was exactly what I was wondering…" Remus said, looking around as well. "But I bet he'll probably be near Lily… who's right there, getting some drink now."

He pointed to the dazzling redhead girl, who was now drinking pumpkin juice and laughing along with her friends.

"Hey, Evans!" Sirius roared to Lily, who just glanced at him once before turning back and deliberately ignoring him.

"Such a nice girl, isn't she?" he then sarcastically commented to his other two friends, who just laughed.

"Let's all go together," Remus suggested, "so that she won't be able to ignore us."

The three of them headed towards Lily, who after awhile saw them coming and waved.

"Hi, guys," she greeted them pleasantly while Carla giggled and Kristen just rolled her eyes. "How are you doing?"

"Just peachy, thanks," Sirius answered cheerfully.

"But that's _not_ why we're here," Remus added before launching into his question: "Do you know where James is?"

Lily abruptly frowned as her eyes became concerned and worried.

"Well... to be honest, I don't know," she replied.

"But isn't he supposed to be with you?" Peter inquired timidly. "After all, you _are_ his date."

The girl bit her lip and shook her head.

"You're wrong," she quietly said. "I'm not his date. I'm... I'm with somebody else now."

Peter just seemed mildly surprised. However, his astonishment was nothing compared to his other two friends: Remus' jaw literally dropped (something he did not often do) while Sirius' eyes suddenly glittered with an angry flame.

"You're kidding, right?" Remus asked meekly, trying to hide his amazement.

Lily just ruefully shook her head.

"_How could you do that to him?_" Sirius furiously bellowed, and several people near him looked at him quizically.

"I..." the Head Girl began, but she seemed to struggle about what she wanted to say.

Sirius wanted to say more, but he was immediately silenced by Remus' meaningful stare.

"I'll deal with her, Padfoot," he whispered.

Sirius just nodded before storming away wrathfully.

"Uh.. Lily?" Remus asked, directing her away from her friends. "Can I have a word with you?"

And as Sirius brooded elsewhere and Remus led Lily away, Peter was left alone to wonder the main question:

_Where was James...?

* * *

_

**A/N:** Another chapter completely done! (does victory dance) Hope you readers –and hopefully _reviewers_- will like it! Also, I changed my mind: I don't know how many chapters this fanfic will have... but it'll be more than four chapters... because really, if I only had four chapters, each chapter (besides the first one) would be like... 5,000 words long? Naah... a few shorter chapters would do _much_ better!

Once again, don't bother sending me reviews about how I'm twisting the already-given information said by J.K. Rowling because _I know that already_!

This time... the prize for the best –or only- reviewer will be... uh... all five Harry Potter books?

Readers: BOO! Do you actually think that we would want those!

Y Sunshine: Good point.

OK then... until I can figure out a better prize, the best –or only reviewer- will have the choice of either acquiring Lily's wand (ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow –good for Charms) or James' wand (eleven inches long, pliable, made of mahogany –great for Transfiguration).

Readers: That's better!

Well... until next time (I hope)!

P.S.: Congratulations to Living In A Nightmare (better known –I think- as Cassie) who won Sirius' motorcycle for the best review! But since I'm such a nice person and I don't want to forget my other reviewers, I would also like to thank Lillie Frost and _mooncancer_. And if one of you guys read the second chapter, hope you wil review again:)


	3. Changed

_Betrayed_

**III

* * *

**

**Summary**: He loved her. She told him she loved him too. Then why... did she betray him?

**Disclaimer**: I'm not sure... but isn't supposed to cover this! Anyway... Harry Potter NOT MINE!

* * *

He saw her embrace and kiss her date in the Great Hall, and the mere sight of it pained him so much that for a minute, he thought he would just die. Memories of her flooded his head, and it hurt… a lot. He tried to tell himself that she was happy now, even though his heart was ripped into shreds. Every time he closed his eyes, he heard small, menacing voices in his head, whispering his flaws and repeating every striking word she said. Finally, in an attempt to escape it all, James slipped out of the castle and onto its grounds, hoping to calm down… and just forget. 

_Who am I kidding? That's impossible,_ he thought bitterly as he realized that no matter where he would be, Lily's sweet face would haunt him. Once again, he asked himself why she chose another guy... wasn't he good enough? Ever since they started going out, he had put his heart and soul into pleasing her. When she was furious, he comforted her, and when she was furious at _him_, he would sincerely apologize… eventually. He put all his love and devotion in every embrace and kiss they had, but in the end…

_It wasn't enough. She's gone, Potter: live with it._

He suddenly felt small, forming tears in his eyes, and he bit his lips hard to prevent himself from crying. He had to be strong; it was no use crying for a girl… especially in these times. Instead, he wandered restlessly on the castle grounds, his mind drifting to past memories, past friends, past enemies… everywhere. Unknown to him, a dark shadow was creeping around his surroundings, waiting.

After awhile, he sensed it. He didn't know what it was or where it came from, but he knew that it was following him. Under normal circumstances, he would've tried to figure out what it was and stop it from following him. But now he didn't see the point to it at all. _If it wants to follow me, I'll let it_, he thought as he continued to walk at his slow and even pace. His thoughts and memories were invaded by a certain redhead girl, and no matter how many times he tried to escape her, she was always there, lingering in his mind. He felt many things towards Lily: anger, shock, frustration, amazement, bitterness, confusion, but mostly...

Sadness.

He gave it all to her: his love, devotion, attention, protection... _everything_. It all seemed so perfect, and before he thought that nothing could shatter this dream... How naive he had been. He sighed then, and let the strong wind mess his already untamed jet-black hair. Getting Lily to like him... to _love_ him... was the only thing in his life that had caused him to work truly hard. Yes, Quidditch sometimes took a comparable effort, but his relationship with Lily... took _years_. He had tried every single method he had, from being egotistical to actually becoming the respectable Head Boy he was now. And when she declared to him that she loved him, it seemed that it was all worth it. The feeling he felt then... it was an unique sensation that he would probably never feel again: it was the feeling that he had actually accomplished _something_. More than a simple Quidditch match. More than a trivial prank... but something _important_. However, it was apparent that every word Lily had said before didn't mean anything to her now because...

_She dumped me... for another bastard_, he thought harshly.

He now wondered if it was worth it at all: giving his heart to a girl... and trying in the first place. If he could let something as vital as Lily escape from his grasp, then... it just wasn't worth it. _Everything_. His heart hurt so much, and it felt as if any moment, he would break. It was so intense that it actually felt like physical pain, and for one brief fleeting moment, he wondered if he could just end it all...

James was too deep in his thoughts to notice the shadow suddenly jumping from its hiding place and attacking. When he did look up, it was too late.

"_Expelliarmus!_" a low, menacing voice hissed.

Somehow, even when his wand suddenly flew out of his robe's pocket to crash onto the ground, James remained unfazed. And even when he met the cruel, cold red eyes of his adversary, his thoughts were still on the girl, her loving kisses, and how she betrayed him.

"Hello, James," the striking stranger said, grinning an evil grin that revealed impossible fangs.

The boy did not respond but just merely continued to gaze coolly at the stranger. Unknown to him, he was now facing the Dark Lord: Voldemort.

The boy was interesting; he had to admit that.

Before, the boy drew him merely because he could sense a dark aura around him. Approaching him, the Dark Lord's formal plan was to toy with his mind before torturing him with the Cruciatus Curse and finally killing him. But as he expelled his wand and actually got to talk to the young wizard, he couldn't help notice his cold, glistening, apathic hazel eyes... so much like his own.

He immediately took a liking to the boy.

"So, James..." he drawled. "What brings you outside instead of joining your other friends at the graduation ball?"

"I have my reasons," he responded simply, looking straight ahead.

The evil wizard just smirked.

"Oh really?" he carefully asked. "Are you sure that it isn't because... of a certain person?"

He watched as the boy stiffened and his eyes became suddenly alert. Although the Dark Lord was before just guessing, he could now picture the situation as he began entering the saddened boy's mind. Nothing could be hidden from Lord Voldemort.

"A girl..." he began, his mouth twitching into a vicious smile. "A beautiful sight, isn't she? With her gleaming red hair and twinkling green eyes..."

The boy's face darkened, and the Lord could even sense the air tremble around him.

"But..." he continued, his voice lowering to a barely audible whisper. "She... _dumped_ you."

The novice wizard suddenly completely stopped. The elder warlock now knew that he had hit something vital.

"Crushed your heart, didn't she?" he sneered, waiting for a reaction. "Tore it into shreds... for another _bastard_."

An uncontrolled sob could be heard, and the Evil One just smiled in delight. But when he turned to face the boy, he didn't see a heartbroken lover... instead he saw a cold, uncaring warrior.

"It doesn't matter now... does it?" James asked, his hazel eyes darkened behind his glasses as they gazed directly at the Dark Lord.

The older wizard's smile just grew wider as he replied:

"Of course it doesn't now, James. _Now_ is time for new beginnings, new friends, new ways., and..." his feared red eyes glistened, "new morals."

Slowly, the teenage boy nodded, somehow forgetting about his immense sadness.

"I can help you, James," the Dark Lord said, using a soft, soothing tone. "I can help you become stronger and forget all about... _Evans_."

He put his ghostly pare hand on the boy's shoulder, and as he gazed at him, he could see curiosity in his eyes.

"When you want me..." he hissed into the boy's ear. "I'll be there."

Slightly surprised, the younger wizard just nodded as Lord Voldemort gently lifted his hand off his shoulder.

"Until then," the Evil One whispered, and before James could say anything else, his long black cloak enveloped him, swallowing the Dark Lord into the night's shadows.

Although the boy didn't know it yet, he was _his_ now.

----- ----- -----

"Prongs! _Prongs!_ JAMES!" Sirius yelled from just outside the castle. "This is seriously getting old, James! So... GET OUT FROM YOUR STUPID HIDING PLACE!"

"He's not going to get out simply because you order him to," Remus retorted, a little annoyed at how Sirius tried to face the current situation. "JAMES! JAMES! CAN YOU HEAR ME!"

"Oh yeah, and like your way is better?" Sirius sarcastically asked.

Ignoring the bickering of his fellow marauders, Peter continued to shout as he wandered around:

"JAMES! _JAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!"_

"I feel guilty now," Remus suddenly said as he watched Peter bravely continue their search despite his and Sirius' minor fights. "Look at Wormtail: while we're bickering about trivial matters, he continues to look for James. If we could just become a little more like him, maybe James would've appeared sooner."

"Speak for yourself," Sirius snorted. "But you're right: Wormtail is doing a good job... GO WORMTAIL!"

Peter blushed when Sirius yelled that comment and continued to search even faster.

"Now about that bitch..." Sirius muttered, abruptly thinking about James' formal girlfriend. "Didn't even want to search for him... after _everything_ he did for her..."

"Knock it off, Padfoot: we can't make her do anything," Remus said, trying to defend Lily although he himself quite resented her at that moment.

And then suddenly, all three marauders could hear shuffles and other strange sounds coming their way.

"Maybe it's James!" Peter hopefully cried.

However, as it become more obvious that it wasn't human steps, Sirius shouted:

"No, even better: maybe it's a _stag!"_

And although what Sirius said was a pure guess, he was right in the end. Pretty soon, stamping hooves could be clearly heard and before long, the three of them could see the majestic form of a stag.

"Do you think that he'll charge at us?" Peter worriedly asked.

"Let's hope not," Remus answered at the exact time Sirius snorted in disbelief.

Finally, the stag stopped and was enveloped by a blinding blue light. When the light vanished, the imposing beast was replaced by a tall, teenage boy.

"JAMES!" all three marauders cried joyfully.

But as soon as they saw him clearly, both Remus and Sirius immediately knew that something was different about him. His appearance was still completely the same, but his eyes... Were they just imagining it or were his eyes now cold and dimmed?

"Are you okay, James?" Peter asked.

The fourth marauder managed a small smile as he replied:

"Don't worry about me: I'm fine."

* * *

**A/N**: I really hope you like the third chapter! It was originally supposed to be the last part of the second chapter, but I changed my mind at the last minute . Now to other things... first of all, maybe some of you are thinking that I'm giving Peter way too much credit, but when I read other marauder fanfics, I'm so tired of them portraying Peter as a dumb, whining idiot... which he becomes later. I mean, I know that he _is_ probably all that, but I also want to give the guy at least _one_ good trait. Think about it: if he was that bad, would the other marauders stick to him in the first place! Second of all: I don't know why, but usually I don't see the marauders transforming to their animal –or werewolf for Remus- form in other people's stories... J.K. Rowling added that cool detail for a reason, you guys! That's why I personally added the last part where James transforms into a stag! Hope you like it! And now, finally, the most important thing... drum roll... THE BEST REVIEW OF THE LAST CHAPTER IS... 

Oh yeah... since we're at it, I should mention something . (readers groan) There is one little rule to this... uh... competition: if you have already been the best reviewer once, you can't be it again (well, unless the same readers review again and again and again... but I hope that won't happen). Now, where were we? Oh yeah...

Congratulations to _rOkstA_ !

Okay, I have to admit that this time, choosing the winner was really, really hard, and once again (because I'm such a good person), I would also like to thank Living In A Nightmare again for her wonderful support, and also LeatitiaVia and _Niux_! I hope all of you will read this chapter and review again! And to the winner, you have the big decision of choosing what wand you want: James' or Lily's...? Unfortunately, if you do not review this chapter, you forfeit your prize (this is _not_ a threat!)... Until the next time

P.S.: If you were smart enough, maybe you would've figured out that I post a new chapter every Friday (or Saturday –depends when posts them). So if you are looking forward for the next chapter, remember to come back next week!


	4. Disappeared

_Betrayed_

**IV

* * *

**

**Summary**: Will Lily find a way to fight the shadows of hurt and doubt and rescue James from Voldemort's clutches? Can she rescue him from the other greater hidden dangers...?

**Disclaimer**: I wish I was J.K. Rowling so that I can give off characters instead of measly items to my winners. Sadly, I'm just a lowly writer. That's right, folks: Harry Potter belongs to Rowling, so stop bugging me about it!

* * *

"My Lord," a strong voice whispered as an unknown man came creeping towards an intimdating dark figure.

The stranger kneeled in front of his master as he continued:

"My Lord," he repeated, bowing his head to show his loyalty. "Why is it...?"

Although he didn't finish his question, the other figure smiled cruelly. He knew what his servant was asking for.

"Why is it..." as he continued his question, his voice continued to tremble. "Why is it that _Potter_ is your chief Death Eater... and not... not..."

The man spat out the word 'Potter' as if it was a disgusting piece of filth, and he didn't manage to finish his sentence because he suddenly started to tremble uncontrollably.

"And not... _you_?" his master drawled, sneering and enjoying the fear in his servant's eyes. "Lucius, I know as well as you do that he was once a Gryffindor who was absolutely loyal to Dumbledore. But times are different now... and so is he."

"Yes, of course," the master of the Malfoy mansion stammered quickly. "But... why is he your highest-ranking assassin? My Lord, do you not have any confidence in me? I can be as good or even _better_ than Potter here..."

However, as soon as these words came out of his mouth, the man regretted them. His master's cold red eyes flared for a second with a livid light of contempt before he coolly grinned and replied:

"That is an easy question, Lucius. Because, you see, Potter –unlike _you_- isn't afraid of..."

Abruptly, the Dark Lord raised his wand and performed the Cruciatus curse. Lucius screamed out loud as he felt the extreme pain coursing through his veins.

"Of torture," his master continued, his malicious grin growing wider. "Or _death_."

----- ----- -----

"Today, the weather in London will be bright and sunny with only a few clouds. If we're lucky, the temperature will rise up to 25 degrees this afternoon! Also, recent reports show that mysterious murders in the nation have increased dramatically. Nobody knows who is responsible for these gruesome acts, but..."

The muggle radio was immediately turned off as the angry twenty-year-old man banged his fist on the table. Remus, who just came into the apartment, just sighed and said:

"Padfoot, you know that these things happen. And although they are certainly not right, you can't hit something every time you hear about them."

"Damn him," Sirius muttered, gritting his teeth.

Remus knew who his friend was talking about, and he sighed once more and shook his head regretfully, thinking about how little they could do.

"Here's the _Daily Prophet_," he said as he threw the newspaper to Sirius.

However, the moody man just looked at the newspaper once before shoving it away from him.

"Don't feel like reading more awful news," he mumbled, crossing his arms like a pouting child. "I wish I could find a job sooner... I can't believe I didn't qualify as an auror!"

Remus sat on the chair across Sirius and explained for probably the millionth time:

"You know that the Ministry of Magic is looking for several essential skills that an auror needs, and you just probably didn't have a few."

"Like what?" Sirius questioned, staring defiantly at his friend. "How is it that I didn't get the job when James did!"

Remus sighed, and instead of answering this question again, he just got up and went to the fridge to look for something to eat.

"Excuse me for saying this, but James probably worked harder to get the job," he finally replied as he came back to Sirius with an apple in his hand.

"Wish the guy came and lived with us," Sirius commented in a tone a little like Peter's. "But he just had to have his 'own personal space' as he called it and rent another apartment in... where again?"

"Somewhere near Surrey," Remus answered as he munched his apple.

"And where does Peter live?" Sirius inquired.

"Coincidentally, also somewhere near Surrey."

"Are you still looking for a teaching job?"

"Yes," Remus replied, tired of answering so many of Sirius' old questions.

"Must be hard trying to get a job... with your status and all," Sirius commented with a note of sympathy in his voice.

Remus tiredly smiled as he agreed:

"Not all parents are content with the idea of their children being taught by a werewolf."

Sirius shook his head somewhat apologetically before getting up to get the phone.

"I'm going to have a chat with Prongs," he declared.

"Why don't you write him a letter?" Remus asked, knowing how busy aurors were these days and how James would probably be disturbed if Sirius called.

"Nah," Sirius shook his head distractedly as he started punching the numbers. "It takes him a month to answer them and his letters are always boring anyway."

"Do you think it would be wise...?"

"Look, Moony: it isn't as if I call him everyday, or even once a week! Last time I called was two months ago and..."

He stopped as he heard somebody' voice on the other side of the line. Remus just sighed; Sirius was just lucky that the Ministry had just decided to install Muggle phones in the building in case of an emergency where the workers couldn't apparate.

"Hello?" a brisk voice could be heard.

"This is Sirius Black," Sirius answered, using a mocking strict tone; Remus just hoped that the person couldn't tell. "Can I talk to James Potter? He's an auror from Sec-..."

"A moment please," the voice abruptly interrupted him before the phone suddenly emitted classical music.

Sirius just groaned and rolled his eyes to Remus, who couldn't help laugh.

"Hello?" the brisk voice returned almost immediately.

"Yo, I'm here," Sirius replied, forgetting his past strict tone.

"I'm sorry, but Mr. Potter is currently unavailable... In fact, we haven't heard from him for the past month. His apartment is also now empty."

----- ----- -----

"Hey, Lily!"

Lily looked up from her newspaper. She turned to see her boyfriend, Amos Diggory, beckoning her into the kitchen. Smiling, she got up from her red armchair and followed him.

"Have a sit," Amos told her as he pulled a chair.

"Thank-you, Amos," Lily said, slipping comfortably in her seat as she waited for what her boyfriend wanted to say.

When Amos seated himself, he began to fidget slightly. Lily continued smiling, although when she looked at his pitch black eyes, she felt a sparkle of disappointment within her. For some reason, she thought about how dull black could never compare against the brilliant hazel... of James' eyes. But still... it didn't matter about the color of his eyes, because Lily was certain that it was Amos she truly loved... not _him._ She vaguely remembered the months she had spent in James' arms, but somehow all those good feelings disappeared when she first saw the handsome Hufflepuff in May about two years ago. When Amos came to her that faithful day in Herbology to ask for her name, it seemed as if James just... _vanished_ from her mind.

And then... on the day of the graduation ball, when she saw his crestfallen face when she told him about it... she started to doubt herself and her feelings. _But now isn't the time to think about him_, she scolded herself silently, shaking her head slightly. It wasn't her fault that James wasn't truly the one for her; _Amos_ was.

"What is it?" Amos suddenly asked her, frowning.

"What?"

"You shook your head just right now... did it mean anything?"

"Oh..."

For a moment, she couldn't remember. Then she laughed and reassured him:

"Don't worry about it: I was just thinking... about a past memory."

"Oh... okay," Amos nodded, and Lily couldn't help notice that he seemed somewhat relieved. "Anyway, Lily..."

As he said her name, she felt slightly disturbed, remembering how James never called her that...

"_Hey, Lils: watch this!"_

"_James... this no time to fool around! Although... it is a little funny..."_

"_Then why are you giggling like crazy?"_

_James..._ she thought, and was surprised to realize that she felt a little depressed then.

"Lily... are you listening?"

She jerked as she remembered where she was, and she felt like hitting herself for not paying attention to Amos, who was now patiently waiting for her to respond.

"I'm so sorry!" Lily cried. "You know I don't usually zone out... I can't believe I did today! Sorry, but I didn't hear a word you just said..."

Amos frowned slightly before shaking her head and mumbling a 'it's okay'. Then he restarted:

"I know these days you're really busy with all the patients you have in St. Mungo's..."

He was referring to Lily's current position at St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Ever since last year, Lily was a novice healer there, but these days, she received extra work... because of all the murders and attacks recently.

"But I would really like to ask you something, even if it would put you under a lot of pressure..." Amos nervously continued.

He then unexpectedly got up from his chair, came up to Lily, and went down on one knee.

"Lily Evans..." he cleared his throat. "Will you marry me?"

"Amos!"

Lily gasped as she stared at her boyfriend in shock. They had only been living together for only a year... and already he was thinking about _marriage_! Although she did love Amos a lot, she didn't know if marriage was appropriate, especially _now_...

"Lily?" he looked up and waited expectantly for an answer.

It took several moments for her to regain her speech ability, and even though, she stumbled on her words.

"Amos," she said quietly. "I... I..."

Fortunately for her, the phone they kept suddenly rang.

"I'll get it!" Lily sang a little too cheerfully as she hopped out of the kitchen and into the living room where the phone was situated.

Although it made her feel a little guilty that she was happy to forget –at least for a moment- about Amos' proposal, Lily couldn't help feel uncertain about it. _I love him and all, but... _

"Hello?" she spoke into the phone.

"LILY!" a hysterical voice screamed, almost knocking her ears off.

"Sirius...?"

However, she didn't hear anything from the other side of the line... although she did hear a few grunts of struggle. Finally, another calmer voice spoke up:

"Hello, Lily? This is Remus, and I apologize for Sirius'... _unexpected_ outbust."

"Uh... it's all right," Lily assured him, alhtough now she really wanted to know what had made Sirius scream into the phone like that. "But... is he okay?"

"Oh... he's fine, Lily," Remus chuckled a little before his voice became serious again. "It's just that... we realized something sudden today."

"What is it?"

"You see... James is gone."

"What?" Lily frowned, unsure if she got it right. "What do you mean, 'James is gone'?"

"It means," Remus answered quietly. "That he's gone missing. Nobody in the Ministry heard from him for a month, and his apartment is empty. We tried to find someone who knows where he is, but so far no such luck. Sirius and I would just like to know if you've heard from him..."

"He's _gone_?" Lily gasped, completely in shock for the second time this day. "I can't believe it! And sorry, Remus, but I haven't heard from him since... the night of the graduation ball."

Remus was quiet for a minute, and Lily couldn't help feel resented; after all, she did hurt James that day, and as one of his best friends, Remus did have the right to somewhat dislike her for that.

"Well then," he said, speaking again. "Maybe you can help us search for him in Shadowmont Forest... that is apparently where he was last seen. Unless... of course... you don't want to..."

"Oh!" Lily answered, a little surprise at his last comment. "Of course I would want to help! Why would you think otherwise?"

Once again, the line went silent for a moment before Remus replied:

"Nothing really. Okay, be there tonight at seven. You do know where it is, I hope?"

"Yes."

"See you there."

And with that, he hung up.

----- ----- -----

"I now sure know why they call it _Shadow_mont Forest... I can practically see shadows everywhere!"

As Lily commented this, Sirius let out a bitter bark-like laugh.

"Get used to it, Lily," he told her, "because we're going to the very heart of this dark and eerie forest if we have to!"

Lily nodded and continued walking steadily along Sirius and Remus. It had been great seeing them; it had been quite a long time since the last time they talked. However, Sirius still held a small grudge on her, and even Remus seemed a little more formal than before.

But she was right about one thing: the forest was somewhat scary with shadows seeming to appear in every corner. It was dense with tall, swishing, green pine trees, and it was very easy for a traveler to get lost in this dark place. However, she couldn't find a reason for why _James_ would ever come here...

"Why would Pr- -I mean, _James_- ever come to this kind of place?" Sirius voiced out her question, raising an eyebrow at their surroundings.

"Maybe he likes... the solitary aura that this forest gives off?" Remus guessed.

However, Sirius just snorted in disbelief as he heard his friend's assumption.

"Yeah right," he rolled his eyes. "As if he didn't get enough solitude from his apartment already!"

"You mean... he doesn't live with you guys?" Lily inquired, suddenly curious about their lives.

"_No_," Sirius answered distastefully. "Although me and Remus tried to convince him to. Really... what is that guy thinking?"

"He must have his reasons," Remus noted calmly. "And please stop complaining about that, Sirius: he won't come to live with us simply because _you _want him to."

Sirius just muttered a 'whatever' before hurrying up his pace, hopeful to find any traces of his best friend around. Sadly, when a couple of hours went by, it was obvious that they were making no progress. Not only that, but it also seemed as if the forest continued forever.

"New plan!" Sirius abruptly declared once he realized this. "We have to split up."

"Do we really have to?" Lily asked anxiously, trying not to whine or sound fearful.

However, Remus just nodded in agreement.

"We'll not going anywhere searching for him in a group," he said solemnly. "If we go our separate ways, we'll have a better chance at finding clues."

"Yeah... what he said," Sirius agreed. "And by coincidence, nature has given us three different paths!"

And he was right; although the paths weren't paved, they were evident, standing right in front of them.

"Okay, here's the new plan: choose one of the paths and try to find anything meaningful. When you give up, apparate back to your house and give the rest a full report tomorrow, you got that?" Sirius asked, looking at both Lily and Remus who nodded in understanding.

"I'm taking the right one!" he suddenly announced and ran to that route, immediately vanishing in the mass of dark green pine trees.

"And I guess I'll take the one in the center," Remus decided and started walking towards that path.

"And I'm taking... the left one," Lily gulped as she realized that the path she chose was extremely curved and narrow.

_Maybe I can switch ways with Remus..._ she thought hopefully, but that hope disappeared when she realized that he was long gone.

"Gather up your courage, Lily," she muttered as she started going her way. "You're doing this for _James_..."

And abruptly she felt a pang in her heart. She didn't know what it was or where it came from, but she convinced herself that it was just because she felt guilty for dumping him, especially after...

_Never mind about that_, she angrily thought as she stomped her way through the creepy forest. She looked desperately around her, hoping to find a shred of a clue that'll help them find James. However, no matter where and how close she looked, she found nothing. _This is getting frustrating,_ she pondered, walking deeper into the forest.

An hour probably ticked by before she realized that she was being _followed_. At first, it was just an unnatural sensation that she quickly shook off. But as she went closer to the heart of the dark forest, the sensation became stronger and stronger until she could no longer ignore it. Not only that, but Lily often caught a shadow that was certainly not her own following her. She bit her lip worriedly, thinking about the possibility that the shadow could be an enemy. Or worse... one of Voldemort's Death Eaters.

_Don't think about that_, she thought, walking faster. Once again, she noticed the shadow following her, and it also seemed as if it was moving faster. Lily touched her wand inside her pocket to reassure her, and she even started mumbling some charm spells. Time went by, and when Lily finally started forgetting about the lurking danger, something unfortunate happened:

For once, she wasn't so cautious on what she stepped on, and as she easily put down her foot, she failed to notice that she was stepping over a tree root. And before she could think, she had fallen onto the hard, dirty ground and sprained her ankle badly. She swore out loud.

And then, another unlucky thing happened: the shadow, hearing her cry of distress, abruptly decided it was time to attack. Lily's eyes widened in horror as an unrecognizable, domineering shadow loomed over her and cried:

"_Stupefy!"_

However, before her mind plunged into absolute blackness, Lily could've sworn that the voice was vaguely familiar...

* * *

**A/N:** Fourth chapter... DONE! does mini victory dance Anyway, when I said 25 degrees in the beginning, the unit is Celcius, because that's what the British use... right? Tell me if I'm wrong . Also, you might be wondering why Sirius and Remus have a lot of Muggle things at their house: well, the radio is to get in touch with the Muggle world (just to tell all you snobby people who like to point out stuff, they don't like the newspaper) and the phone is for Sirius who wants to have direct contact with James without apparating (Sirius is just lazy –no offense). And for the Amos thing... okay, I know that AmosLily is very disgusting, but I didn't feel like creating my own characters ducks as flying vegetables are thrown. And you can't help being surprised... right? I mean... a AmosLily fanfic? Who ever heard of _that_...? To be honest, I got the idea when I was wondering if good looks were hereditary (with Cedric and all)... and I thought maybe I would try it with Amos. But no flames on any of that please: I completely agree with you that Lily falling for Amos is just plain NOT right.

Also about Shadowmont Forest: I. Don't. Like. That. Name. Unfortunately, I couldn't think about anything else... and I still can't. But I guess it suits the forest somewhat well, because just like how I mentioned in the fanfic, the forest is just crawling with shadows, thus _Shadow_mont Forest... (readers just roll eyes) . What else would I like to add...? That this chapter was pretty boring? That thinking about Amos and Lily together makes 99.99 of HP fans sick (oops, forgot I already mentioned that)? Oh yeah! To the readers who almost fell asleep reading this chapter, I want to tell them that the next chapter will be 300X better than this one! GUARANTEED! That is all.

Now... for the best reviewer of the (last) chapter! Drum roll, bitte (I'm studying German now, just to tell you guys)...

_Great Job 2 LeatitiaVia!_

C'mon, you people (especially those of you who have won in the past): clap for the winner! (claps enthusiastically) And of course, now for the prize... LeatitiaVia, you're probably get Lily's wand, because _rOkstA_ has claimed James' wand... I think . To _rOkstA_: if you don't want James' wand, maybe we can switch, but I hope not because that'll cause a few problems (plus, maybe you can make James appear with the wand if you practice hard enough lol).

And should I give credit to the other reviewers? NAH. chap. 3 reviewers hiss and boo and attempt to kill the writer Fine, fine: I would immensely like to thank Living In A Nightmare (you -as the only reviewer who has reviewed EVERY single chapter- are da BEST), LuluIsALobster, _sarah_, _rOkstA_ (of course lol), and Kokiri fairy. I hope all of you will review this chapter and I'll see you soon! ;)

P.S.: Next winner gets to choose if he/she either wants a stag plushie, a black dog plushie (like the Animagus Sirius transforms into), a werewolf plushie (doubt anyone wants _that_), a rat plushie (nobody in their right mind would even consider _that_), a dragon plushie, or a unicorn plushie! More plushies coming in later chapters and all plushies are guaranteed to be 100 soft, cuddly, and CUTE! Arigato so much to Living In A Nightmare, who gave me the idea!


	5. Deceived

_Betrayed_

**V

* * *

**

**Summary**: Love is a wonderful thing with grave consequences...

**Disclaimer**: O Confucius... grant me patience because I don't know how many times I can stand telling these _morons_ that all Harry Potter related things belong to J.K. ROWLING!

* * *

"Where am I?"

Finally starting to open her eyes, Lily groaned as she forced herself up with much difficulty. Her body hurt all over, and as she ran her fingers on her sides, she knew that she was probably half-covered with bruises and cuts. When her eyes finally fully opened, all she saw was darkness. She tried to adjust them so she could see at least a faint trace of a shape, but even when several long minutes ticked by, she couldn't see a thing.

_Damn._

Lily felt the cold, hard floor: it was greasy and covered with slippering, stinky mud. _Where am I...?_ she wondered again. For a moment, she couldn't remember why she was here, and then it all came back to her. Recalling the shadow that suddenly attacked her earlier, she bit her lip in anger. _I could've avoided getting myself caught,_ she furiously thought as she searched for her wand. _But then I thought that it was all right and became reckless... and now look at where I am!_ She even doubted that she had her wand still with her, but fortunately, after a few moments of frantic searching, she found it in perfect condition.

"_Lumos,"_ she whispered, and immediately, the room was brightened by a small, but clear light.

Lily then quickly learned that she was sitting in a prison cell. The bars were thick and held a menacing look to it, and it seemed as if the cell was used many times. As she turned to her left, she was apalled to come face-to-face with a squeleton.

"_EEK!" _she squealed, automatically inching away from the gruesome figure.

_I hope I won't meet his fate..._ she thought, eyeing her long-dead companion with fear. But even as this thought came to mind, she knew that this was a very fair possibility: here she was, hungry and confused, in a cell that was maybe even unbreakable. She then quickly tried to apparate back to her house; however, like she predicted, nothing happened. Wherever she was, the place was enchanted so you couldn't apparate.

"I see that you've been acquainted with Sam here," a cold, sneering voice suddenly drawled from the void outside the cell.

"What...?" Lily stammered, instinctively holding her wand in a death grip.

The unknown figure cackled in spiteful delight as he came nearer. However, even when his nose was almost touching the cell's solid bars, Lily couldn't see his face because of the black cloak that almost covered his whole body. For a brief, horrifying moment, she thought that she was looking at the Dark Lord himself, but as she inspected the stranger further, she knew that he wasn't it. The figure was small, and the only intimidating trait he had was his voice.

"Your name is Evans, am I correct?" the stranger smirked, clearly enjoying the sight of the seemingly helpless captive.

"What do you care?" Lily retorted, throwing a defiant glare at her opponent.

The stranger was clearly taken aback from her latest comment, because there was a moment of stunned silence. Then he seemed to come back to life as he sneered:

"You may feel oh-so-mighty now, Miss Evans, but when you've... been _acquainted_ with the others, you will clearly think otherwise."

Lily was about to open her mouth again when she unexpectedly heard a key being turned. A second later, her cell door opened and the unknown figure stepped in.

"Come with me," he ordered, rapidly taking hold of her arm.

For a moment, Lily thought about the possibility of hexing the stranger, but he seemed to know exactly what she was thinking because he coolly commented:

"Miss Evans, raise your wand and you shall meet your death... right here, right now."

_Maybe he's joking..._ she pondered, but she seriously doubted that. The hooded man spoke with such confidence that it was hard to disbelieve what he just said. Instead, she asked:

"Where are you taking me?"

"To the Dark Lord himself," the stranger –no, _Death Eater_- answered.

When he saw Lily's sudden fearful visage, he laughed.

"You should be pleased to meet the Evil One himself, my dear," he drawled. "I believe that you two would have a very nice chat before he... disposes of you."

"Don't be quite sure about that," Lily coldly replied, although deep inside, she wasn't so confident. "And where is this place anyway?"

"This is the Dark Lord's castle... and your future graveyard."

Leading her away from her cell and deeper into the heart of the castle, Lily's anxiety grew. She knew that she didn't stand a chance against Voldemort, especially if he would be surrounded by his Death Eaters, but... _I don't want to die now... ! I have so many future plans, and I want to see the world! I'm still young and... and-_

_Oh, God._

She knew that she had to get a grip of herself, because this was exactly what Voldemort wanted: for her to panic. She took deep breaths to steady herself and vowed that she would not give Voldemort the pleasure he wanted: she would stand strong, like a true Gryffindor. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the Death Eater led her into a huge room. It emitted a dark, scary aura, and the only lighting there was came from candles. The floor was hard and dirty, barely cleaner than Lily's cell, and the room would've been completely empty if there weren't a massive group of Death Eaters gathered... _probably to witness my tragic death_, Lily pondered harshly.

"Here she is, everybody!" her Death Eater suddenly called out gleefully to his fellow peers.

He then pushed Lily in the middle of the group, and she shivered in fright as many pairs of eyes stared at her helpless figure.

"My, isn't she a pretty one..." one of them commented.

"I wonder how much fun it would be torturing her...?" another one slowly asked.

Abruptly, he was pushed down by a taller and stronger Death Eater.

"Don't even think about it, Avery," the Death Eater harshly said with a hint of threat in his voice. "She is to be played with the Dark Lord only."

"Don't be so sure about that!" Lily abruptly blurted out, unable to contain her anger.

Every head turned to her, and many smirked at her boldness.

"She's like a true Gryffindor, isn't she?" a Death Eater asked with poisoned honey dripping from her voice.

"Too bad her courage will lead to her brutal death," another Death Eater noted, and everyone in the room –except Lily- started hysterically screeching in laughter.

Although she didn't want to show it, Lily was becoming seriously afraid. She had no idea what Voldemort had planned for her, and she hoped she wouldn't crack under the pressure and the pain. Much to her disgust, she started trembling, and she bit her lip hard to stop herself.

"Poor girl," a particular Death Eater –the one who pushed down Avery- shook his head sardonically. "She has no idea how much pain the Dark Lord will soon inflict on her..."

Lily glared at him and was about to open her mouth when suddenly a loud, calm voice said:

"You are wrong, Lucius. The Dark Lord has decided that I, not he, would be the one who would decide her fate."

The girl blinked in surprise as she recognized the voice. _But it couldn't be... could it? _The other Death Eater's head immediately shot up to the room's entrance where the voice was heard, and if Lily could've seen his face, she would've sworn that he was glaring at the newly arrived figure.

"Oh really?" he –Lucius- sneered, blocking the stranger's way . "Well, unless our Lord comes and says this to us himself, I won't believe a word of it."

The stranger, who was also completely covered in a black cloak, just coolly replied:

"Stand aside."

"You'll have to make me."

And with that, Lucius took out his wand and directed a hex at the stranger. However, the outsider just dodged the attack before bellowing:

"_Crucio!_"

Lucius instantly dropped to the floor, twitching and screaming in pain. The other Death Eaters stepped back, already receiving the silent message by the imposing figure. The stranger kicked Lucius away before coming up to Lily. Once again, he took out his wand, and Lily was afraid that he was about to curse her as he cursed Lucius. However, instead of pointing his wand at the girl, he directed it towards her feet and muttered a spell. Lily immediately slipped on the dirty floor, making all the Death Eaters roar with laughter.

"What...?" Lily left her question unfinished, not knowing what to say.

She looked up to the stranger, who was now slowly taking off his hood to reveal a mass of wild, untamed jet-black hair and a pair of cold hazel eyes behind his glasses...

Lily gasped. _No... it couldn't be. It's just impossible. But-..._

"James...?" she asked, her small, meek voice trembling as if not daring to believe her eyes.

"All right, Evans?" he asked coolly, smiling the arrogant grin she so much hated.

And suddenly, they were back in their fifth year, when James was desperately trying to get her to like him and she was desperately trying to ignore him. She remembered the fateful day when he was torturing Severus, and she had tried to stop him. When she had told him to leave the unharmed Slytherin alone, he had asked her the same thing. But it was somehow different now because although his eyes were cold and he was smiling, there were the same hidden mingled hurt and sadness in his eyes that she saw just before the graduation ball...

"What... what are you doing here?" Lily asked, unwanting to look at the flagrant answer right in front of her.

"I'm the one who's asking the questions now," he abruptly answered, and the childish smile was gone. "Did you bring any other people during your stroll in the forest?"

Of course, as Lily remembered, she was accompanied by Sirius and Remus... but she wasn't going to tell _them_ that.

"No," she answered, trying to sound as truthful as she could.

"She's lying, she's lying!" the other Death Eaters started chant, but with one meaningful stare from James, they all became silent again.

"Evans..." he said slowly, his wintry eyes piercing hers. "We are not here to play games. Tell me the truth."

"NO!" she shouted, and many Death Eaters gasped, taken back. "I meant... seriously, nobody was with me..." Lily then tried to cover up for her mistake, but it was too late.

"I wish you would cooperate with us, but since you clearly do not want to..." James paused before crying out: "_Crucio!"_

The light from her wand abruptly went out as the girl suddenly felt every single nerve in her body burning. She fell to her knees, willing herself not to scream... although tears were already pouring from her eyes. Her head was pounding, unable to consume all the pain, and she sunk deeper onto the floor. Somewhere far away, she could hear the mocking laughter from the Death Eaters, but she couldn't care less about that now: all she wanted was for the pain to stop...

_Please, just make it stop_.

And unexpectedly, it was all gone. She shut her eyes before opening them again, and slowly, uncertainly, she got up again. Several Death Eaters were still smirking, and when she came face-to-face with James, he also a bore a cruel smile on his face.

"Well... I guess it doesn't matter if anybody was with you then," he said, "because I bet they are long gone now. But what will we do with you now...?"

"James..." Lily gasped, trying to restrain her tears. "Why... why are you doing this?"

"Hmm?" he looked at her, and once again, behind the coldness and the contempt in his eyes, she could see the sad, hurt boy she last saw a few years ago.

"It's my duty, Evans," he replied with no trace of emotion in his voice.

He then took out a long, sharp knife hidden underneath his cloak, and grabbing Lily by the collar, he slowly made a long, shallow cut across her forehead. She could feel the prickling pain as the knife slashed through her skin, but compared to what she just experienced, it wasn't that extreme. Before she knew it, she tasted blood in her mouth .

"Do you like the taste?" he asked. "Because you're going to have a lot of blood to deal with once I'm done with you."

When he finished his sentence, he violently threw her on the floor, and she gritted her teeth in pain as her head collided with the hard, greasy floor. Lily slowly, painfully started to get back on her feet, but James pointed at her with his wand and ordered:

"Freeze."

Suddenly, she couldn't move anymore. She could still blink and breathe, but that was about it. No matter how hard she tried to move, or even flinch, she was literally almost completely paralyzed. _What the hell...?_ She tried to talk, and fortunately, she found out that she could move her mouth as well.

"How did you do that?" she asked, shocked.

"That's for me to know and you to never find out," he replied coldly.

He began circling leisurely around her, and many Death Eaters pointed and laughed at her pitiful position. Lily wished she could break free from whatever spell James cast on her, but even when she wasn't paralyzed, what would she do...? If she was being tortured by an ordinary Death Eater, she would've tried to dodge him and escape the room by hexing every person in sight... but this wasn't any normal Death Eater... this was _James_.

_How-... Why-...? It just doesn't make any sense..._ she thought as she gazed upon the man she once loved. James had always hated the Dark Arts, and no matter how egoistic he once was, he would've never sunken this low. But then why was he in front of her now... his wand in his hand, ready to kill her? Tears started to swell in her eyes as she kept repeating to herself: _it just doesn't make any sense._

All of a sudden, the Death Eater who led her to the room came to James and asked:

"Can I have a try, Potter?"

"Of course you can, Genghis," he said quietly, his lips forming a small smile.

Clearly excited, Genghis eagerly raised his wand... and fell down dead as a brilliant, green light struck him. Lily gasped, shocked like many other Death Eaters who suddenly recoiled and took a step back. James, his smile gone, turned to the other Death Eaters and announced in a steady voice:

"Any one of you who would like to _experiment_ on Evans will meet the same fate as Genghis here... She's _mine_."

Nodding uneasily, the Death Eaters had no choice but to agree. Lily just lay there, silent and stunned as the words he just uttered ran through her mind: _She's mine, she's mine, she's mine... _What did they mean...?

James unexpectedly turned to her and asked:

"How's Amos doing?"

The girl's eyes widened in surprise; she never knew that James had the knowledge of her boyfriend's identity. When she didn't answer, James continued:

"Did he propose to you? Of course he did, didn't he? Too bad you didn't answer him on time. Instead, you left him shortly to search for me with Sirius and Remus. Don't you regret that now...?"

"How-... _How do you know all this?"_ Lily gasped, her astonishment evident.

James smiled slightly for a moment, ignoring her question. His smile disappeared, however, when his face suddenly darkened and he whispered:

"Of course... if you'd never left me, I would've proposed much sooner because... you're everything I need."

She blinked, unable to hear everything he just said. Unfortunately, she didn't have time to think about his previous words because he then stooped down and said:

"Evans, if you think that the Cruciatus curse I just inflicted on you was bad, wait until you see the new way of torture I just came up with."

He grabbed the knife again and tapped it with his wand.

"_Crucio_," he whispered, somehow putting one of the Unforgivables into a knife.

And then, before Lily could react, James lifted the knife high in front of her and slashed a deep gash on her right shoulder blade. Immediately, she screamed, and when she started... she couldn't stop. The pain started in her right shoulder blade and rapidly spread throughout her entire body. It wasn't at all like the Cruciatus curse she just experienced earlier... Oh, no: it was _much_ worse. The sharp, throbbing pain was too vivid, too extreme... impossible even. Somehow, the paralysis spell wore off, and she started twitching wildly on the floor. Her vision blurred and sharpened again only to reveal herself drenched in blood and invaded by huge, red, bloodthirsty spiders.

_No, it couldn't be..._

She felt the tiny, yet enormous creatures crawl on her skin, and she felt each stinging bite as they started gnawing her already decaying body. The gruesome color of blood crimson filled her vision as she screamed harder, tears freely smearing her face. _STOP! STOP IT! _she screamed silently –and for all she knew, out loud too- and she now knew that she wanted it to end... she wanted to _die_.

And once again, it all stopped. Gasping with relief, Lily opened her eyes to learn that she had never really been invaded by spiders... _It was all my imagination_, she thought, her hand running through her body. When it came across the deep wound on her right shoulder, she flinched and swore silently: James had just created a way to make the Cruciatus Curse more unbearable than before. As she sat up, Lily could see her blood everywhere: on her clothes, on her right arm, on her neck... and a lot on the floor. The mere sight of it made her dizzy, and she collapsed once again on the floor as the effects of blood loss surged upon her. _I'm going to die..._ she pondered, and she felt a strange sort of relief as the thought came to her. However, it seemed as if James read her thoughts, because he commented:

"Don't worry, Evans: I'm not done with you yet."

He then stretched his hand out to her. Surprised, she just stared at it. _It's a trap, it's a trap,_ her mind kept telling her, but another voice from deep inside told her that whatever torture he had planned for her couldn't be as bad as what he just did. _But why would he want to torture me...?_ she wondered, feeling the tears coming again. Angrily, she choked them down, and before she could stop herself, she grasped his hand.

Lily had expected to feel pain coursing through her body the moment she gave her hand to him. But instead, she didn't feel a thing as he slowly helped her up. When they were both completely standing, he suddenly wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. Startled, she just gazed into his dimmed hazel eyes, unable to grasp the meaning of all this. She then saw his wand being held tightly by the other hand, and once again, she thought about what kind of torture he had installed for her. James swiftly tapped his wand on Lily's scarred forehead and murmured:

"_Imperio_."

Lily gave a surprised cry before she felt the effects, and when she did, her whole body relaxed, forgetting the agony it endured a few moments ago. It was exactly the opposite of the Cruciatus Curse: it was _bliss_. Her thoughts and anxieties were lightly washed away by a soothing wave, and all she felt now was a indistinct, eternal happiness. She was half-aware of James as he put away his wand and brought her closer to him. Suddenly, he whispered:

"Kiss me."

Obediently and unable to control herself, she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her, and gently kissed him. He didn't move at all, and when she withdrew, he still had the same expressionless face as before. Lily felt a furious tornado of rushed feelings inside her, and she still didn't know what it was at all. She was dazed and confused, and the Imperius Curse James put on her didn't help either. She still felt the everlasting pleasantness, and she could faintly see a confused expression on many of the Death Eater's faces. She then gazed at James, whose eyes never left her, and saw... nothing. Absolutely _nothing_. The aspect frightened her, and she abruptly felt the wave of guilt surging inside her, despite the effects of the spell.

Unexpectedly, he spoke and Lily jumped slightly at his steady voice:

"Say you love me."

"I love you."

The words were out before she knew it, and she briefly saw James' eyes glitter with happiness –so much like that memorable day in November- before they were subdued by hurt, sadness, and contempt. All of a sudden, Lily felt a huge realization hit her, and she gasped.

_Oh no..._

"You're too late, Evans," James whispered, the arrogant smirk pasted on his face once more.

He was about to add something more when the doors abruptly opened. Once again, despite being under the Imperius Curse, Lily felt a dark, sinister aura around her, trying to dominate her... to _suffocate_ her. She faintly heard the quiet swishes of a cloak as a tall, imposing figure glided towards them. And then... the curse was lifted off her. She stiffened, unsure what just happened.

"Don't you think that's enough, James?" a cold voice asked almost pleasantly, but Lily couldn't help shiver as she caught the malice dripping from the tone.

James didn't answer, but the smirk immediately disappeared to be replaced by a cold visage void of emotion as he let go of her. _Don't look, don't look, don't look..._ Lily told herself, but even as she repeated those words, she could feel her head turning around...

She gasped. The stranger smiled, revealing monstrous and impossible fangs.

Lily was staring right at the Dark Lord. Voldemort.

* * *

**A/N**: Longest chapter yet... and like I guaranteed in the last chapter –it's _good_... at least I hope. Somehow, I know I could've done better by making the torture more vivid... but I'm not used to writing these kind of 'horror' stuff. I think I also wrote a little mushy stuff... and believe me: it wasn't easy. I mean, when I was checking for spelling errors, I practically laughed at myself when I read the phrase, 'as she gazed upon the man she once loved'... jeez, isn't that the corniest thing ever! Okay, now you're probably wondering why I would put this in my story –much less write it down in the first place- when I think it's stupid and corny... to be honest... I. Have. No. Idea. Probably it's because I'm clueless at romance stories and I'm just writing anything that pops up in my head. Not the best way to write, I know. So sue me.

_Anyway_... I took a lot of effort doing this chapter, so please REVIEW! Are you too lazy to do it? I mean... the button is right on the bottom of this page! Get your lazy butt up –actually, you don't even need to _stand up_- and review! Sorry... I know I'm insulting all you readers –who I all love, of course- but I really want to know what you feel about this story: it's my first priority!

Now for the best reviewer of the last chapter... Hey! Did you know that I'm getting more and more reviews per chapter? My fanfic is getting more and more popular... GO ME! (readers just roll eyes, wondering how such an immature author can write a good story... much less a story at _all)_ Okay, okay... now for the main thing you have all been waiting for... suspense, suspense...

_You Rock, SavetheSqUiRrEls!_

You gave me this great idea that'll make my fanfic better! Arigato so much... that's why you deserve a first-class quality plushie! Pleez tell me what kind of plushie you want in your review (to see options, go to chapter 4: you can also suggest something else ) And of course... I would like to thank my other reivews... that include: James's girl (I may have writer's block sooner or later... but fear not! I shall continue writing this story until the end...! I hope...), Jommoov (you really think my fanfic is that good? If you do, thank-you _so much!_ You're the kind of person who encourages me to become a better author!), _kitkat_ (cliffhangers –although created by evil people- make readers want more... therefore making them review! It's hidden blackmail, I tell ya!), Marauder4eva (suspense good... doesn't it? Hehe...), _rOkstA_ (I hope you like 'death eater James'... tell me if I could've done better), and –of course- Living In A Nightmare (if you review all my chapters –until the _very_ end- then... then... you _really_ ROCK!)! Thank-you, guys, for cheering me on!

I'm sorry to say this, but maybe the next chapter will be posted two weeks later instead of one... progress is –unfortunately- going slower... and I need to even things out... so if I don't post a chapter Friday, you better not just forget about this story! Or else... you. Are. A. Very. Bad. Person. So put this fanfic in your Author Alerts or whatever... but don't forget about it!

Okay... besides that... see you guys and I hope that all my past reviewers will review again.


	6. Realization

_Betrayed_

**VI

* * *

**

**Summary**: Love conquers all... or does it?

**Disclaimer**: All. Harry. Potter. Characters. Are. Not. Mine. Jeez.

* * *

"I can't believe we didn't even find a trace of him!"

"Calm down. If we have to, we'll try again tomorrow."

Sirius groaned and abruptly sat down on a nearby rock, muttering angrily to himself. Remus just sighed before collapsing on the muddy ground itself. _Sirius is right_, he said to himself. _We practically looked everywhere in this forest, yet no trace of James at all._

Although their original plan was to apparate back to their house right after they gave up, Remus and Sirius somehow bumped into each other during their frantic search. Now, both tired and weary from their long, grueling investigation (it wasn't easy walking through a forest in which you almost literally couldn't see anything), they decided to reveal what they currently knew... which, unfortunately, wasn't much.

"I told him that he should've lived with us!" Sirius roared indignantly, abruptly standing up.

"It was his choice," Remus replied steadily, although he was now beginning to think that himself.

"I bet some of Voldemort's Death Eaters kidnapped him," Sirius continued to rant on. "For all we know, he's being tortured and laughed at right htis instant!"

"For all we know, he could be dead."

Sirius stopped for a moment as he realized the meaning of Remus' harsh remark. He looked as if he wanted to add something but decided against it as he continued:

"That guy already suffered enough! Especially after Lily-..."

Sirius once again stopped as another realization hit him. Remus suddenly stood up, his eyes becoming alert.

"Lily apparated back to her house, right?" he questioned Sirius, hoping against hope that this was true.

"_How in the hell would I know!"_ Sirius nearly screamed back at him. "Sorry... I didn't mean to be that loud..." he then apologized fully.

"It's okay," Remus sighed once more. "I'll try to apparate to her house to see if she's there."

Sirius nodded as his friend pulled out his wand and performed the spell. However, nothing happened.

"That's strange..." Remus frowned and made another futile attempt. "Somehow something in this forest is preventing me from apparating..."

"Maybe you just forgot how to do it," Sirius cracked one of his jokes only to be met by a furious glare.

"Why don't you try, Padfoot?" Remus inquired coolly.

Sirius shrugged before taking out his wand and performing the spell, too. Unfortunately, he stayed where he was. Remus frowned, trying to figure out what was happening as Sirius desperately tried again.

"It's this forest," Remus finally concluded, watching Sirius fail for the tenth time. "Something in this forest is making it impossible for us to apparate."

"That must mean..." Sirius began, but by now, both knew.

For once, Remus stomped his foot and swore.

"The only way out of this place is by foot," Sirius voiced their thoughts grimly. "And Lily is still in here, somewhere else. This is going to take _forever_."

"It's not only that," Remus stated, frowning as if talking more to himself than to Sirius. "If something in this forest is preventing us from apparating, it means that it can also prevent us from doing other things. Plus, this forest... it makes me feel uncomfortable... it's as if it's... it's... _evil._"

Sirius didn't bother to comment on the absurdity of that last remark because he felt it, too. Before, he would just ignore the lurking feeling, but now it was impossible.

"What else can possibly go wrong?" Sirius growled angrily, starting to walk in circles.

His friend was too busy gazing at the sky to answer. Before, when they were searching for James separately, the thick, dark foliage prevented them from seeing the sky at all. But they were now at a location where the heavens above were very visible. All of a sudden, Sirius could hear Remus draw his breath and gasp. Turning abruptly to his friend, Sirius asked:

"What is it?"

Pale and stiff, Remus didn't answer but merely pointed at a distinct object. Sirius looked up and gasped, too.

"Oh no, oh no..." he moaned, gritting his teeth.

In all their frantic searching, Sirius forgot that tonight was a full moon. He turned back to Remus, who was now starting to transform: his limbs were trembling uncontrollably as his head and body extended. A twisted snout was forming as his shoulders arched and his body started to grow shaggy hair. Hands transformed into huge paws with sharp, deadly claws, and the werewolf faced Sirius, snarling and ready to kill.

_Holy shit._

_----- ----- ----- _

"Of course."

James immediately let go of Lily as he stepped away, his steady gaze still on her. Meanwhile, the girl was gaping at the darkened figure, who was completely hidden in an enveloping black cloak like his servants. However, he stood taller, more dignified that the rest, and the redhead now noticed that everyone in the room except James and her was bowing to the Dark Lord.

"Hello, Lily," Voldemort softly hissed.

"It's _Evans_ to you," Lily answered coldly once she regained her speech ability.

A few Death Eaters near her gasped in surprise, and many of them gave her furious glares.

"My, aren't me touchy..." the Dark Lord shook his head in mock regret. "You wouldn't do at all, Lil-... I mean _Evans_."

He then showed his fangs, which glistened with the light of the candles. Lily couldn't help shiver at the gruesome sight, and she once again wondered what Voldemort had installed for her. _Oh well_, she pondered bitterly, _it can't be worse than what I just experienced._ She suddenly felt a cold, yet burning hand on her cheek, and abruptly, harsh pain was coursing through her. _Don't scream, don't scream..._ she told herself, although it seemed as if fire was eating away her flesh.

"A very strong girl, aren't you?" Voldemort asked, grinning maliciously as he finally lifted his hand from her face.

Lily continued to stare defiantly at him, although she could still feel the vivid pain. In fact, her whole body seemed to be aching over, and she knew that she was terribly weak because of the large amount of blood she lost. Even now, as she stood face-to-face with the Evil One himself, blood continued to flow from the deep gash on her shoulder.

"And very hurtful, too," the imposing wizard added sweetly

"What...?" Lily raised her head up, surprised at that last comment.

"Why... you don't know what I mean?" Voldemort pretended to be shocked, although he was smiling derisively. "Don't you remember the night you broke dear James' heart so mercilessly without a second thought?"

Laughs could be heard from the Death Eaters as Lily gasped, horrified. She turned to James, who continued to stare at her with eyes that were now blazing with hatred. She could feel her heart breaking as she remembered how hurt and dejected he looked that night... _If only he knew..._ she wistfully thought, but then she shook her head.

"You know, Evans," Voldemort sneered, beginning to circle slowly around her, "I want to thank you."

Lily stared at the Evil One, astonished beyond words. Even his Death Eaters paused, shocked but waiting for their master to continue.

"If you haven't left poor James to suffer for another guy, you wouldn't be in this situation at all. Instead, you would probably be the luckiest girl in the world. Imagine yourself sitting comfortably in your warm home, reading the newspaper contentedly and knowing that you have a loyal lover who not only works against the Dark Lord, making a big difference everyday, but will protect you no matter what. You two would've made a very happy couple."

Lily continued to gaze at Voldemort as the words began to sink in. _James..._ she thought, and her heart wrenched again as she realized how much it must've hurt him... and how much it hurt her now.

"Instead..." the Dark Lord began, beginning to smile as his voice became gradually louder, "you gave all that up for somebody else. And now look at the big difference: you are now living in doubt about Amos while the Ministry has a spy in its own headquarters. Everyday vital information is given to me, weakening Dumbledore's forces and making me stronger. Not only that, but hundreds of the Ministry's top people are done with because of my top assassin here..." he nodded towards James, who just stood there, unmoving as always, "... and you're about to become one of them."

Voldemort then loudly cackled, and soon his mirth was accompanied by the laughter of his servants. The redhead girl gasped once more as James approached her, his eyes now frighteningly empty.

"You can do the honors, James," Voldemort chuckled, stepping aside.

"No, James... please don't do this," Lily pleaded, her eyes threatening to spill with tears.

"Evans, I honestly didn't see this happen, and if I could've controlled it, it would've never happened," James echoed the words Lily told him that fateful night.

"No..."

_No, please don't go against me, James. Please don't use my words. Please don't hurt me. I don't want to die now because I..._

"Good-bye, Lily," James said quietly and raised his wand.

However, he was not fast enough, because all of a sudden, Lily pulled out her wand, pointed it at James, and screamed:

"_Accio_ _wand!"_

His wand suddenly flew out of his hand, landing neatly on the girl's expectant palm.

"Give me my wand," James ordered her in a soft but dangerous voice.

He started walking towards her, and she staggered backwards, afraid. The Death Eaters drew their breaths, waiting for James' next move. He kept gaining on her, and as she kept trying to walk away from him, Lily knew that in the end, she would die anyway.

"James, no... no..." she kept stammering that to him, although the words clearly meant nothing as he came closer and closer.

Suddenly, she tripped and fell. Her head hit the wall that was suddenly right behind her, and she moaned in pain as her damaged shoulder collided against the hard, dirty concrete. She felt James gently take his wand from her hand, and as he pointed it to her heart, he whispered:

"Any last words?"

"James, James..." Lily began, her body shaking with violent sobs.

She now didn't care if she broke down; she was going to die anyway.

"James... I don't know what happened to you. One day you're the sweet boy I always liked... the next day, you're against me. Ever since the first moment we met... it's been like that... why?"

"People change," he replied coolly.

"It's not only that!" Lily cried, and now tears flowed freely, staining her face and her clothes. "I know I've hurt you a lot, and I know you're still heartbroken... but why did you have to join Voldemort...? You've always hated the Dark Arts, and you always wanted to fight against him alongside with Dumbledore. And suddenly you're killing people for him and betraying people who trust you. Why...?"

"He gave me an offer."

"That's not a good enough reason!" Lily shouted at him, and suddenly, it was as if they were having one of their rows back when they dated.

Even when she was lying there, helpless and at his mercy, and even when he was gazing at her with no compassion at all, it suddenly felt as if they were having one of their usual fights...

"_James Potter! I hate you and I don't want to see you ever again!"_

"_No, Lils, you seriously don't mean that..."_

"_I HATE YOU!"_

"_Fine then! See if I care!"_

She had to suppress a smile as she remembered that he always came back to apologize. But when... when was the last time did she apologize him for something she did wrong...?

"James... don't you want to come back to us?"

"No."

"It's possible... you know. I'm sure that deep down, you don't want to kill people for Voldemort. Deep down, you want to go back and join your friends and Dumbledore. Please... think about it..." Lily took a deep breath before explaining: "Here, in this hellhole, everyday you're afraid to die. You can't trust him!" she exclaimed hotly, pointing at Voldemort who stood unmoving. "What has _he_ ever done to _you_...!"

"He helped me escape _you_," James replied in a hostile tone, his eyes suddenly becoming cold and icy.

"James..." she grasped his sleeve tentatively. "He didn't help you at all. You may think so, but it's not true! He molded you into a monster... into something you would never want to be! He's lying to you... _manipulating you!_ Don't you remember your true friends... people who would never turn their backs against you? Think about Sirius, Remus, and Peter! Surely they would want you back! They wouldn't want you hurting yourself by being Voldemort's slave! Remember the little group you guys made when we were at Hogwarts? The marauders...? You can go back to it and pretend..." Lily's voice cracked, "nothing's wrong."

"Sirius and the others can deal with the situation themselves. And I can't just pretend nothing's wrong because..." his voice abruptly dropped into a soft whisper that only Lily could hear, "I already tried that."

"No!" Lily cried fervently. "James... you have to go back! You can't just stay with this... _filth_!" she spat those words contemptuously. "You have to come back!"

"Be quiet."

His wand was now pressed hard against her chest, and somehow she knew that he was really intent on killing her. She closed her eyes, rapid tears rushing down her scarred visage. Many thoughts swirled through her mind: she was thinking about her family, her past teachers, Carla, Kristen, Amos, but mostly...

_I want to tell him... I really do, but I... I just can't. It's impossible... and it's too late. _

"Any other reason James should go join that damn Dumbledore?" Voldemort asked her, grinning cruelly from ear to ear and obviously thinking that she was finished.

Lily's eyes blazed with hatred and hearing that, she gritted her teeth and looked at James eye to eye.

_It may be too late,_ she pondered wistfully,_ but... I'll try_.

"Yes... actually there is," she replied clearly. "James, I... I..."

His cold gaze continued to stare at her indifferently, and her heart ached painfully when she thought –for the millionth time- that she was responsible for the pain... the _hurt_ he had to endure. Fresh tears silently trickled from her bloody face as she thought: _I'm sorry for all this, James. I'm so sorry... I..._

"I love you."

The words echoed through the room and through her head as memories of that significant day resurfaced. James had seemed so happy to hear those words then, and she always treasured the brilliant look he had had on his face when she had told him. Suddenly, it seemed as if everything disappeared into the void... except them. The Death Eaters were gone, and even Voldemort's intimidating aura couldn't be sensed. James continued to gaze coolly at her, unmoving and unfazed. As she stared at him back, Lily knew that she had almost no chance... _but I want to tell him anyway_, she determinedly thought, painfully easing herself up.

"Whether you believe it or not, it's true!" Lily began, her eyes wide and earnest. "I just realized right now that everything I lived through after the night of the ball... _everything_... was a lie. Before I really thought I was in love in Amos, that I didn't need you... but I guess..." she turned her head away, "I was just lying to myself."

He just stood there, gazing at her and –hopefully, Lily thought- listening.

"I don't know how or why it happened... but I now know that I have _never_ stopped loving you. You were –and still are- deep inside my heart... and before I always wondered why my heart hurt when I thought about you... and that night. And now I know why... James, you are the only one for me."

He frowned, his wand now pressed considerably more lightly against her chest as he gazed at her with hesitant eyes. _He's... he's starting to believe me_, the battered girl thought, hardly daring to even think about it. Not wanting to waste any more time, Lily continued:

"Please, James, please come back to us. I know that life hasn't been treating you fairly... that _I_ haven't treated you fairly... but all this can change. You don't belong here; you belong with _us_. Voldemort will continue feeding you lies until the day you die, which may be sooner than you think. But if... if you turn around and give us another chance, I promise you that it'll all change. Don't think that you can't change your loyalties. Dumbledore will forgive you... the marauders will forgive you. They'll know about how much you've gone through, and no matter how many people you killed, no matter how many people you deceived, and no matter how much you are different now, as long as you have a pure heart –and I know you do!- they will forgive you!"

And with those last meaningful words hanging in the air, she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his waist as she whispered again:

"Please, James... please come back with us."

She rest her head on his chest, letting her tears mixed with blood stain his silky black cloak. She closed her eyes, feeling the immense sadness dominate her spirit.

"Lily..." James said, clearly surprised at her sudden move.

She saw him struggle with his words, only to shake his head and quizzically gaze upon her in the end. _He's calling me by my first name again..._ she thought happily. _Maybe... just maybe... I –_we-_ have chance._

"I'm sorry for all this..." she murmured finally, "... and I want you to know that I really love you."

Abruptly, a loud, maniacal cackle could be heard. Lily's head immediately jerked back as she realized that she and James weren't –and never were- alone. Death Eaters all around them peered at them uneasily, and Voldemort, in the center of it all, was laughing, his crimson eyes flaring in amusement.

"Are you going to believe a _mudblood_'s words?" he bellowed, grinning devilishly.

Eyes once again frightfully empty, James merely ignored his question. Lily opened her mouth to fight back, but unfortunately, her shaky legs unexpectedly gave out and she fell down unto the hard floor with a dull thump. Gritting her teeth in pain, she told herself that it was now or never.

"Know where your loyalties lie, James," the Dark Lord hissed dangerously, now apprehensive and serious.

"Please choose wisely, James," the redhead girl begged, looking up to him with sad, solemn eyes. "Follow your heart."

"Decide now."

Both Lily and Voldemort uttered those words, waiting expectantly for James' answer. One waiting, hoping and praying... and another already knowing the answer and the outcome. A tense silence followed, in which all the Death Eaters drew their breaths.

And slowly, James...

* * *

**A/N**: Whoa... a major cliffhanger... that'll keep you readers on the edge of your seats! (laughs evilly and readers groan) Sorry if you really don't like cliffhangers, but the next chapter... it. Will. Be. Good. I promise secretly crosses fingers... I'm just kidding . Also, once again... this took a lot of effort, and if you read the first chapter... you would know why. ME not mushy crap writer... You get it? If you don't... Oh well.

Second of all... I GOT FIFTEEN REVIEWS FOR THE LAST CHAPTER (excluding the other four from x blue belle x)! Okay, I know that this isn't really so good (there are people out there who get a hundred reviews a day!), but for my record... this rocks! _Gracias to all you people who made me feel SO special!_ (extends arms for hug, and readers inch away, majorly freaked out) Now... for the best reviewer of the (last) chapter... drums and eyes roll... suspense, suspense...

Anyway... _Felicitations a Lorelei6!_

To those who are confused, this means 'congratulations' in French. Thanks, Lorelei6, for your long and devoted review! Because of this, you deserve a unicorn plushie! And of course, if you actually don't _want_ that, you have other plushie choices! And you're right: if you're devasted and heartbroken, why _not_ help destroy the world...? Also, Cy... you were _this_ close... but not close enough! And sighs dramatically _of course_, I would also like to thank _Miranda_, x blue belle x (it is getting sad, huh?), Cecile Li (see? Forcing you to read this _did _pay off!), _Thiru_, _PotterChix_, _BellaD_, Marauder4eva, Amadinka (you seriously had tears in your eyes when you read this...? Is it that emotional? I hope so, and thanks a lot), James's Girl (liked this chapter? Maybe not exactly what you were expecting...), mystic fire demon, _Watersprite87_ (I love cliffhangers... muahahahahaha), Vicious Pixie, Living In A Nightmare, and Jommoov.

You guys are the people who inspire me... so thank you all! (bows) And sorry if I already said that, but it's _true_! And once again, I'm sorry, but the next chapter may be posted in two weeks instead of one: progress –I might add again- is slow. And be happy: I posted this chapter on time... _right? _So be patient... and you will see the next chapter... one day (covers as tomatoes are thrown). Until then.


	7. Contemplation

_Betrayed_

**VII

* * *

**

**Summary**: "I always wished that I had never done that... never done the one foolish thing that ruined everything..."

**Disclaimer**: Do you know J.K. Rowling? Well... she owns everything related to _Harry Potter_. Arigatou.

* * *

"Seriously, Potter: I thought you would know better than to turn against me merely because of three empty words," the Evil One sneered contemptuously.

Now turned to him, James just gripped his wand tightly and said nothing. Although outside he looked calm and collected, inside he was shaking. Even now, when he had made his decision, he was still unsure. Ever since the night of the graduation ball, he had been haunted by small, leering voices that kept clawing him with questions.

_Do you deserve do live? Should you even be here now...? _they would ask him in mocking voices before throwing in their savage taunts. _If you can't satisfy a puny mudblood, you aren't worth it! You should just disappear from the world! Can't even keep a girlfriend before she flees into someone else's arms, huh? You. Are. A. Piece. Of. Filth. _

_No, no, no... NO!_ he would answer hotly, desperately trying to ignore the insulting demons inside his mind. He couldn't tell how many times he had told himself that they weren't real... or that everything they said was pure crap. But... eventually he had given up. Eventually he had just let those voices dominate his head, insult him day and night... live inside him. And gradually he had begun to believe them. That had been when he had decided that he didn't want to live with Remus and Sirius, no matter how much they had insisted... He had told them that he needed space, and he did: he needed room to think, to recollect himself... and to forget all about _her_. And then _he_ came.

The Dark Lord had promised him space to think, room to prosper, and more importantly... a way to forget about Lily... and the _pain._ And in the end, he did have all the space he needed as well as the highest status in Voldemort's rank. But... _she_ had still lingered in his head, day and night; her sweet, sad face had haunted him as the threatening voices continued to slash his fragile mind. And the Evil One had kept promising him that he _would_ forget all about her... he _would_ eventually live in peace without the torments of those invisible monsters lurking in the corners of his head.

_Yeah, right_, James told himself bitterly as he continued to gaze steadily at his new adversary. _I bet he never planned to help me in the first place._

Everything that had happened today was unexpected. First of all, he would've never imagined that Voldemort would be able to capture Lily and bring her to the castle. When the Dark Lord had told him about her arrival, his heart had immediately longed to see her... he had to remind himself that no matter how much she meant to him, she was now the _enemy. _She always had been. Then, when Voldemort told him that _he_ would be the one to torture the prisoner instead of the Evil One himself, he had been –for the first time in years- truly torn between two sides. He had known that he had pledged undying loyalty to Voldemort and he had meant to keep it that way, but his heart still ached for the girl. And when he had sen her there, standing in the center of a snickering crowd, looking all confused and afraid… it had been much worse. He had to use all his power and will to push his emotions aside and execute what he had been told.

Lily had looked at him in pure amazement at first before her expression became hurt and confused. He knew that he seemed cold and hostile to her, torturing and mocking her like the rest. He often felt as if his feelings and emotions were been eaten away by the savage voices inside his head, and today it seemed as if each known feeling he had experienced was slipping away as he watched her decay. Yet every time he had hurt her, he had hurt himself as well… because no matter how hard he tried, he knew he could never stop loving her.

James also knew that he should've never let her kiss him. It had brought back too many blissful –and unwanted- feelings. The moment her lips had touched his, the high-pitched, screeching voices had come back to life, taunting him unmercifully:

_You do realize that everything she does, everything that comes out of her mouth… is a _lie_…? _they had whispered to him, snickering. _The kiss doesn't mean anything to her… even if you kill her, her spirit will go to Diggory… not _you_! She had never loved you… and nobody else ever will! And you think that a small kiss can make things better…? Pathetic._

They had been right… as always. And when she had said that she loved him under the Imperius curse, it had been even worse, because it had felt as if his heart was been crushed all over again. Fortunately, Voldemort had interfered before he could have made any more foolish decisions, and when he had told him to finish Lily off, he had felt an immense surge of emotions: boiling anger at Lily and himself, burning doubt… and fierce determination. He had been so sure that if he killed Lily, the pain and the voices would stop. That was when the feeling of vast emptiness had dominated him… the calm wave of apathy. At the same time, she had started to beg and sob, desperately wanting for him to think about all this and go back to Dumbledore. _As if that's possible_… he now thought harshly. But during that tense moment, he hadn't cared… he had barely listened at all. However, Lily then told him something that had sparked a familiar flame in his ice cold soul…

She had told him that she loved him.

_Again_… he remembered, thinking about the memorable day in November. She had seemed so sincere, so earnest… yet a few months later, she had crushed his heart. Although doubtful and confused, he had somehow been waiting for these words, knowing deep inside that this could have been another trap. However, he had been astounded beyond words when she suddenly hugged him, her tears staining his black cloak. Although it had been hard to believe three simple words that had hurt him so much in the past, the soothing warmth he had felt radiating from her had made it all seem more real… more believable. Sooner than he thought, he had to decide where he stood in this world –as Voldemort's top assassin… or as a bleak outcast in Dumbledore's army. He knew clearly where his advantages lay, yet he knew that he could never really live on without Lily… especially after what she told him. And when she encouraged him to follow his heart…

_My heart was always yours_, he told her silently, gazing at her with an empty expression.

And now, he had made his decision. He knew Voldemort was furious at him despite his unfazed exterior; he would want him dead as soon as possible. However… there was an unusual victorious glint in his blood red eyes… as if he _wanted_ this to happen. _No, it couldn't be…_ he thought before gazing at Lily, whose face was shining like the midsummer's sun. Once again, his heart ached for her, and as he raised his wand to protect her… he knew that his fate was already sealed.

----- ----- -----

Yes, everything was going according to plan. The boy had now turned against him, and although he somewhat knew this was going to happen, he couldn't help feel anger and disgust towards the poor, ever-believing child. He had thought that after everything he had gone through, James –no, it was _Potter_ now- would've known not to fall for such a simple trap... but even the Dark Lord had to make minor mistakes sometimes, he guessed. Potter was a low, lovesick wizard who was –and always would be- tied down because of Evans. Love was a strange thing, he concluded –dragging even the strongest and most determined wizards to their sad, cruel fates. The Evil One had put some faith into the boy during the beginning, hoping to mold him into the perfect, uncaring warrior. It had started well, his plan –the heartbroken child had proven to be a useful tool, especially since he had also been one of the top aurors of the Ministry. Not only that, Potter had a way of killing that could match his own; not even a slight trace of regret or doubt had flickered in his eyes as he cruelly performed the _Avada Kedavra_ curse and killed hundreds.

However, when he saw from his charmed mirror the way the boy reacted when he saw the girl, he knew that he would lose him. Any ordinary muggle or wizard wouldn't have caught anything from the way Potter looked and spoke with Evans, but nothing could be hidden from Lord Voldemort. Even the slighest movement could've given somebody away... and this time, the Evil One had spotted it.

Now, as he stood sneering at the smaller figure who was once one of his best Death Eaters, he couldn't help admit that things wouldn't go as smoothly without Potter by his side... but he'd manage. It was very easy to commit a murder, and it was even easier to manipulate people. That was how Voldemort himself had changed from a small, meek boy to the feared sorcerer he was known as today.

The Dark Lord knew how this would end... and it wasn't going to end pretty, that was sure. He remembered the conversation he and Potter had merely a few days ago...

----- ----- -----

"My Lord," James quietly said, bowing down slightly. "I have requested to see you."

"Come in, James," Voldemort beckoned him to come to his private chamber, his tone almost bored. "What do you want?"

James slowly made his way towards the Dark Lord, his stride confident and his face expressionless. Once he was face-to-face with Voldemort, he started to speak:

"You remember the promise you gave to me a year ago... yet you have not fulfilled it. I came here to ask why."

A small grin appeared on the Evil One's visage.

"You dare to question me?" he mocked almost amiably. "James, you and I both know that only few Death Eaters are brave enough to throw me inquiries, and even fewer ever get their answers in a wanted way. But you still come to me and ask... why?"

James, however, just merely ignored the simple question and stated briskly:

"You know what I want."

Although James was the only Death Eater who dared defy him, it was worth it; his service was too valuable to be disposed of merely because of his disrespectful attitude. Voldemort sighed deeply, eyeing James curiously.

"Yes, I know perfectly what you want... and I'm very sorry to say that it is now unobtainable. However, you have my word, James, that I _will_ help you, and you can trust Lord Voldemort's word."

The Death Eater kept his stoical face, yet the Dark Lord could sense the doubt James felt. He pointed his pale finger towards his mirror and lightly asked:

"James, what do you see in the mirror?"

Only slighty fazed, James turned and inspected the mirror, only to see his reflected face bordered with the mirror's many jewels and precious stones. However, at the snap of Voldemort's finger, the visage distorted itself until the image displayed a girl in the arms of another man. The man's features were shadowed, but they could easily see the girl's gleaming red hair and sparkling emerald eyes as she kissed her lover. The Dark Lord's lips twisted into a cruel smile as he saw James' face darkened, his teeth clenched.

"You would like to get rid of the pain, wouldn't you...?" the Evil One hissed, still smiling.

"Yes."

"You would like to get rid of _her_ haunting face, wouldn't you...?"

"Yes."

"To stop loving her, to stop caring for her... to forget...?"

"Yes."

"Well, James..." he turned around, his back now to his Death Eater. "In time, I guarantee you that the pain will cease and she will stop haunting you. But this won't happen today... maybe it won't happen for a long time. But it _will_ happen... trust me. I hope this answers your question..." he drawled, clearly knowing that it did _not_, "... now _go_."

James said nothing; instead, he just bowed like before before swiftly leaving.

----- ----- -----

_Well, Potter_... Voldemort pondered gleefully while eyeing his former servant, _whether you like it or not, your wish shall be granted.

* * *

_

**A/N**: Yes, I know... _This chapter is **finally **done!_ YAY! I'm sorry that it's been two weeks since the last chapter was posted- as I said before, I'm very, _very_ busy these days... and I know how you guys were really anticipating this chapter . Well, here it is, folks, and I hope y'all like it!

Yes, I know that this chapter isn't so good. Maybe I should have made the thoughts longer and more complex, but if I did so, you would've had to wait longer... But it's okay, right?I mean, I know it's not the best chapter you've ever read, and it's kind of too short and... and... (shuts up as readers start looking _very_ menacingly at the author)

ANYWAY, here's the best reviewer of the (last) chapter! the traditional drum roll... who will it be, who will it be?... drum roll continue despite the readers' extreme desire for the sound to stop... it is...

_Stop Buggin' Me, xbluebellex!_

(glares at the lucky winner)... Yes, despite her rather _annoying_ tactic to show her appreciation for the story (notes to FF authors: you do NOT want to get to know her), she, in my opinion, deserves the award. (nods wisely and doesn't even bother to make people clap until x blue belle x starts glaring daggers at author) So x blue belle x, what kind of transfiguration potion do you want? You got it right, readers (and hopefully reviewers): I have new prizes –_transfiguration potions so that you can turn into the animal of your dreams!_ OK, OK, I know this wasn't at all in the books, but it is kind of wanted, isn't it? But if you think I should go back to plushies, tell me...k? And once again, I would also like to thank:

mystic fire demon, Living In A Nightmare, shadowphoniexstar (yes, you would _really_ love cliffies if you write your own stories ), James's girl (first, I'm a female (feigns death glare). Second, yeah... it is _kind of_ predictable ... and third, aw... thanks for thinking I'm good and I WILL watch the third movie), Amandinka (okay, maybe James _did_ choose the 'light side' too easily, but that's only because of his undeniable, unbreakable love for Lily... that I cannot describe too well because I'm REALLY not the mushy writer), Fire of the night, crazy4padfoot, _Thiru_, Tomecia, Crazed T.V. Girl18, mandyzcool, _Jommov_ (you probably guessed right), _Miranda_, nixie pixie, and _naturegoddess09_ (thanks... now if only you could _continue_ reading the story...).

Danke everybody for your meaningful reviews! And I noticed this time that many people absolutely hated my last cliffhanger... some even called me _evil_! Well, you're not that far off... muahahahaha. Also, although this chapter really isn't the best, I wonder if reviews can reach _100_ before the next chapter get posted... Hey! Do you think it's possible? Maybe I should make it a challenge...

Try to convince other people to read and review my fanfic, and let's see if it's actually possible! (smiles encouragely while readers roll their eyes and shake their heads, seeing right through the author)

And good news here, too: I guarantee you guys that the next chapter will be posted next week... _no later!_ So no need to fear, no need to worry: the next chapter (which will be a LOT better) will be there before you know it! Well... ciao!


	8. Escape

_Betrayed_

**VIII

* * *

**

**Summary**: When you realize your mistakes too late, you must face the punishment... no matter how bad it is.

**Disclaimer**: Do you know J.K. Rowling? If you do... then you know who owns the entire Harry Potter world.

* * *

"Should we kill them now, my Lord?"

Lucius had somehow managed to creep to Voldemort, and as he now stood whispering into his ear, he could see a small grin appear on his pale visage.

"Be my guest," was the cool reply.

However, before Lucius could command the mob of Death Eaters to attack the victim and her former torturer, James had Lily under a shield dome and now had his wand above his head.

_What the hell...?_ Lucius wondered, staring in the shock as he realized too late what James was up to. With all the power he could gather, James bellowed:

"_Avada Kedavra!"_

And the most amazing thing was that the killing curse did not aim at one person... instead, it seemed as if an impossible shower of foul, toxic green water flowed from James' wand. The burning liquid destroyed everything it touched, and only Lily was completely safe from it. Many Death Eaters stared at James in shock before getting engulfed by the disgusting ooze, all wondering the same thing as Lucius:

_How did he do that!_

Even Voldemort seemed midly surprised, yet he was completely unaffected by the venomous green fluid. However, all around him was chaos: not one Death Eater in the room –of course _excluding_ James- was still as almost every person screamed and ran from the invading, magical water, desperate to get out of the room and to safety.

"Get out of my way, you bastard!"

"Push aside; I need to get out!"

"ARGH! I think that green stuff is on my robe!"

Lucius, as confused and disoriented as the rest, somehow managed to stumble back to his lord, who had moved to a seclusive corner that was somehow untouched by the green liquid. Staring down at his meek servant in disgust, Voldemort sneered:

"You are a pathetic piece of filth... and you call yourself my Death Eater...! _Get them, you fool!_"

James had released Lily from the shield dome, although he still cast a protective spell around her.

"Let's get out of here," he told her almost calmly, guiding her towards the exit and perfectly avoiding the flowing poison all around him.

"Oh no, you don't!" Lucius screeched hysterically, seeing them escape. Turning to his fellow Death Eaters, he snarled: "Forget about the ooze and kill them!"

Finally regaining some of their sense, the Death Eaters turned their attention to Lily and James, scrambling to be the first to capture –and hopefully kill- them. However, it proved not to be an easy task: James was now already darting out of the room at an amazing speed, with Lily behind him locked in a death grip.

"GET THEM!" Lucius roared.

And with that, every Death Eater ran after the prisoner and the new enemy, leaving behind only a smirking Dark Lord.

----- ----- -----

Somewhere in Shadowmont Forest, a large, black dog was running wildly, trying futilely to hide from the mad werewolf. _I... have... to... get... away... from... HIM! _Sirius pondered grimly, leaping over dead trees and crunching dead twigs. Right behind him, the werewolf howled, its mouth drooling and foaming as it chased after the dog.

_This should've never happened!_ Sirius cursed himself, knowing how foolish he had been to not consider Remus' condition tonight. And because of his mistake, not only would he not have a good chance to find Lily, but he may not even get out of the forest alive. _Dear God_, he thought, _I hope Lily's all right. Where's James when we need him...? Why did he...?_

Once again, he thought about his best friend, and he felt hurt and confusion dominate him. Somehow, some way... the old, laughing, carefree James had died during the graduation ball. Sirius –and probably Remus, too- had instantly knew he had changed when he had come back and had told them that he was fine. But Sirius had always thought that it would go away, the sad, brooding mood that had conquered his mate... but now, with James gone, Sirius realized that he should've kept a better eye on his friend. _If I had, he probably wouldn't have disappeared so suddenly..._ he pondered bitterly.

Because he was too buried in his thoughts, the black dog didn't notice that the snarling and and the howls trailing him had stopped. Only when he saw the foul beast's mutated face in front of his own did Sirius realize that the werewolf had somehow managed to go in front of him. And now he would have to fight the monster face-to-face...

_Here goes nothing..._

_----- ----- -----_

He watched the other Death Eaters wildly scampering away, trying desperately to catch and finish the two prisoners –one brought by him and a new one who would regret the day he changed sides. Voldemort's servants knew that they had to kill Lily and James no matter what, because they could sense their Lord's foul mood. Serious consequences would be issued to everybody if Dumbledore's top pupils escaped alive. But no matter how severe the punishment was, this Death Eater stayed to the side, hidden by the numerous shadows lurking in the castle. He knew that he simply _couldn't_ go after those two... especially James. What if he recognized him? Then... what would happen?

_It would be the end of me_.

Besides, he tried to convince himself, wasn't bringing Lily to his master enough? _Yes, it was_, he thought and shrank away to a corner, trying to ignore his evident cowardly act.

----- ----- -----

"James... where are we going!" Lily panted, frantically trying to keep up with his amazing pace while also trying not to think about the bloodthirsty mob after them.

"Out of here," he answered matter-of-factly.

Lily seriously doubted that their goal would be as easy as James made it look, and she was about to question about it more when he said:

"Be quiet."

His tone was so calm yet demanding that she immediately closed her mouth. She gathered as much energy inside her to run faster, even though she felt terribly weak and drained. She closed her eyes as she thought why James had so quickly decided to turn against Voldemort, to go back to Dumbledore... to forgive her. _Somehow... it doesn't make much sense_, a voice told her. _I had hurt him so much, yet he's now trying to protect me no matter what..._ Although doubt was evident in her mind, Lily felt her heart swell as she thought that James -no matter how cold and distant he still seemed to her- was trying to keep her safe.

_Like old times..._

They had made so many turns that Lily had totally lost her sense of direction. However, James had a determined look on his face, and his pace seemed constant and confident. The girl doubted that there was anybody on their tail now, but she could still faintly hear the indignant roar of the pursuing Death Eaters. Shivering at the thought, she was immensely surprised when James suddenly stopped. It was such an abrupt movement that she bumped into him, and he had to catch her in order to prevent her from falling.

"What... why did you stop?" Lily inquired, dazed.

He merely shushed her, one hand firmly holding her and another tightly gripping his wand. Muttering a complicated charm, he created a thick shield just right in front of them. Before she could ask, he quietly said:

"This will not only stop them in their tracks for a very long time, but it will also appear like a dead end until they realize what it is."

Lily just slowly nodded before they started running again.

"The exit is very near," he told her, grasping her hand tightly into his.

They ran quickly, snaking through Voldemort's maze-like castle. It seemed like hours before they finally reached two huge, intimidating doors that were evidently the exit.

"They're locked, of course," James acknowledged when Lily futilely tried to open the steel doors. "Now that I'm against him, Voldemort probably particularly locked all the doors to keep us in."

"Maybe we can unlock them with the Alohomora charm," Lily suggested, only to be met with a unbelieving snort.

She frowned at James before raising her wand and chanting:

"_Alohomora!_"

Lily then tried once again to open the doors, and somehow –as if by miracle- they opened to reveal... an eerie, black night dominated by an imposing, full moon and the same, threatening trees that she saw in the Shadowmont Forest. James stared at the open gates, completely dumbfounded for the first time in a very long time. Lily had to stifle a giggle as she remembered that it was exactly how he looked when she received –for the first time- a higher score in Transfiguration than him.

"I guess... Voldemort locked these doors with a simple spell because he thought that nobody would figure out that they could be easily opened by a first-year charm..." he concluded slowly, still appearing astounded.

"Or he thought that his top former Death Eater was too dumb to perform the simple charm in the first place," Lily teased, and before he could protest, she sprinted out of the castle and into the thick foliage of the dark forest.

James went after her but immediately stopped when he came out of the castle. Lily stopped too, and this time, it was her turn to stare as she came face-to-face... with the empty air that was once where Voldemort's castle had been.

"This is why nobody found Voldemort's hiding place yet," James explained, his face now again set with a cool expression. "It's protected with a very complex protective spell. And I bet the Death Eaters will soon figure out that we're not in the castle anymore, so I suggest that we get a move on."

And before Lily could respond, he was surrounded by a blinding blue light. When the light faded to reveal a proud, magnificent stag, Lily gasped, surprised beyond words. _Why... why had James never told me that he was an Animagus?_ she wondered, still staring in awe at the handsome animal. The stag tilted his head towards himself, making it clear that he wanted her to climb on his back. Hesitantly, Lily walked towards the intimidating creature before slowly mounting on his smooth back. Immediately, the stag dashed off, with Lily hanging on him for her dear life.

Although the forest was thick with large, crooked trees, James dodged them graciously while still managing to keep his exhilirating speed. The redhead girl greatly enjoyed the welcoming breeze playing with her hair and the rushing feeling of freedom as they both sped away from the terror of Voldemort's castle. It seemed as if a millenium passed since she experienced the Cruciatus curse, and the impossible concept of forgetting the awful experience now seemed... quite possible.

Although the gnawing question on James' sudden change still plagued her mind, Lily forced herself to forget about it for now as she laughed happily for the first time for what seemed like centuries. At last, the stag stopped at a less dense part of the forest, and she eased herself off. Once again, the majestic animal was surrounded by a flashing blue light before it vanished to be replaced by James.

"Since Voldemort doesn't know that I'm an Animagus, it'll take a while for them to catch up to us. I wish we could move faster, but I need a break and I don't think you can last much longer if you continued running," James told her calmly, glancing at the deep wound on her shoulder.

"Of course," Lily whispered and they both started walking towards the faint outline of a now rising sun.

"The safest way out of this forest is to the east," James explained to her, nodding towards the direction. "If all goes as planned, we'll be out of here in an hour since Voldemort's castle is close to Shadowmont's border."

Lily nodded, and they both continued walking as an awkward silence fell upon them. She had so many questions in her head that she couldn't get a single one out. Not only that, but she was still afraid of James, who still kept his expressionless face. _Why... does he have to seem so cold?_ she wondered miserably, remembering the beaming, loving person she used to date. But deep down, she knew that it was her fault: none of this would've happened if she just knew her heart. Once again, she felt like beating herself for her foolishness, but then –suddenly- a memory resurfaced...

"_James, I can't believe I did that! I feel like... like..."_

"_Beating yourself up?"_

"_Exactly! I should've never let her do that, but I did and now she could be expelled! Urgh... how did I let this happen? How? _How? _HOW?"_

"_Calm down, Lils. People make mistakes, and although you should learn from them, you shouldn't beat yourself up because of them. Remember, you can't change the past but you can change the present."_

"_... Thank-you, James; that really helped... And that was a pretty meaningful thing you said... for a prat."_

"_Shut-up.". _

Remembering that moment, she had to smile, and evidently seeing this, James glanced at her quizically. _We can't stay like this_, she finally told herself. _We can't stay separated... especially now that he's on our side!_

Suddenly, she stopped. James also abruptly came to a halt, asking:

"Are you all right? Why did you stop?"

"Why did you suddenly decide to join our side?" Lily inquired, completely ignoring his past questions. "Is it because...?"

She stopped as she saw his face growing dark.; she could practically sense the doubt and shadowy thoughts brewing inside his head.

"I'm sorry I asked you," she murmured softly, turning away.

A moment of silence passed by before James whispered:

"It's all right."

"Are you an Animagus?"

"Yes, and I'm not the only one: every single marauder is one, except one who's a werewolf and who used to transform once a month during out stay in Hogwarts. Fortunately, now there's a potion that'll prevent that."

If it was under normal circumstances, Lily would be absolutely shocked by the fact that one of her close friends was a werewolf, and she would ponder on that new fact for a long time. However, because of the past incidents, she seemed only mildly surprised by that, and no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't bring herself to think more about the unknown friend's harsh condition. Her thoughts was settled on James, and she still had so many inquiries under her tongue. Completely forgetting the previous subject, Lily closed her eyes and took a deep breath before saying:

"James, I know I said this before, but I'm really sorry about all this."

He slowled his pace but did not answer.

"I know your life won't be easy now, especially since you were once Voldemort's spy. But I'll... I'll help you. I promise I will."

"How?" he asked, his voice low and skeptical.

When she heard the doubt in his tone, she couldn't help feel extremely hurt, although she knew that it was exactly what she deserved. _He probably felt worse on that day,_ she pondered, remembering the night of the graduation ball. _And how can I really help him...? He seems so sad and lost now, and it looks like I can only things worse. But I wish..._ Numerous possibilities popped in her mind, but she brushed all of them off, knowing that these small acts of help were so trivial when thinking of James' current position. And then suddenly, Amos' head surfaced in her mind and a great –yet impossible- idea came to her. _I might as well try..._ she thought and sighed to herself: it was going to be hard. James was waiting expectantly for an answer, and Lily abruptly turned around, gazed at him in the eye, and asked:

"Will you marry me?"

* * *

**A/N**: I hope this chapter is at least a _little_ better than the last one! I thought –at first- that this chapter was great, but when I looked over it again, I thought that I could've done better... but it's still good, right? Also, the 'new and improved' _Avada Kedavra_ curse James used in the beginning of the chapter may have not been the _best_ idea... especially since the words didn't change at all. To be honest, I did that on purpose, because as J.K. Rowling _may_ have mentioned it before, magic, in the Harry Potter world, isn't just a few hocus pocus words. Not at all; the particular spell James used was modified because of his more extreme emotions and his intense concentration, therefore making the spell many more times deadlier than it already is. Okay... sorry if this paragraph is boring you... especially since I have just realized that out of all the readers here, less thanfifty percentof them read the author's note. Grrr...

Next note: I think the identity of the 'mysterious Death Eater' who was mentioned earlier is quite obvious. However, it can be two people so really, there is no right or wrong answer... unless you're stupid enough to guess that it is Dumbledore ...

I doubt this chapter has a cliffhanger. I doubt this chapter's ending is even _acceptable._ But _maybe_ –after reading the next chapter- it will appeal better to you... I hope. Besides, if you think about it, wouldn't James be much happier if he knew that he would marry his one true love? ... Just wondering.

Now for the best reviewer of the (last) chapter! Oh yeah, just to annoy her, I would like to mention that x bluebelle x was so overwhelmed by joy in the last chapter that she forgot to tell me what kind of transfiguration potion she wanted. What an idiot. I had to come to her _personally_ (or _not_ so personally) to ask her again. And she told me she wanted a transfiguration potion that could make her turn into a monkey. Okay... back to the main point! The best reviewer is... drum roll...

_You cannot kill me, Cecile Li! (inserts evil laugh)_

Man, I wonder why I'm giving this rare award to somebody who is planning to kill me. Oh well... Oh yeah! Cecile, you can't spell. It's _enthusiastic_... not whatever you wrote in your meager review. And folks, don't _ever_ read her fanfics... they are not good at alland the only reason she has so many reviews in her SA one is because she brainwashed her readers with the pure simplicity of her stories... (Cecile raises her butcher knife and Y Sunshine cowers)... joking, joking. She's a great writer, really.Also Cecile... what kind of transfiguration potion do you want? And I hope you won't forget like your oblivious counter-part here... (cough... x bluebelle x... cough).

Anyways... I would also like to thank: Living In A Nightmare (cliffhangers are just sheer fun... evil grin... but I hope you don't consider this chapter's ending as one), Amandika (you are somewhat right... although you just can't really call James 'good'... I'm _very_ sorry that my story is now starting to disappoint you but I promise one major twist in the end!), Marauder4eva, crazy4padfoot (thanks a lot for everything you told me! It really helps! ), x bluebelle x (what do I have to say to you...? Nada. Joking and don't worry: the next chapters will be up before you know it! I hope...), Tanydwr (it does, doesn't it? And arigatou!), shadowphoniexstar, Cherry Chalk, _no one_ (about three year... maybe? Even _I_ don't even keep track... ), _firewitch_, _Miranda_, rOkstA (after reading this chapter, I hope you know how Lily truly feels for James... and remember: Voldemort _never_ forgives traitors), James's girl (NOO! You cannot leave me! Also, I'm Chinese... although I live in the Americas ), and _diamond004_!

And note: more Remus and Sirius in the next chapter... promise! Also note the fact that although Lily now knows that three of the marauders are Animagi and one is a werewolf... she doesn't know _who_ is the werewolf or the other three marauders' forms. You need to know this for the next chapter, and if I see reviews asking about this for the next chapter, I will get seriously angry and ignore the person. Gracias.

Next chapter... coming next Friday (I hope)! Stay tuned... because the next chapter will probably be the most important of all! Also, if you do not like fluff... um... um... (twitches)... no comment.


	9. Sacrifice

_Betrayed_

**IX

* * *

**

**Summary**: Deep scars, although able to be temporarily healed, can burn stronger than ever later.

**Disclaimer**: You are an utter fool if you don't know who owns _Harry Potter_. It's certainly not me.

* * *

They were all a bunch of morons. Complete, foolish idiots. None of them deserved to serve their lord: he was the only one cut out for the difficult –yet worthy- task. Yet when the Evil One fiercely scolded him today, he knew that his position was endangered; he had to prove himself to his master or face the severe consequences. And that was why he separated from the rest of his fellow Death Eaters to pursue Evans and that blasted Potter. They were all going in the wrong direction... couldn't they see that? Did they actually think that they could catch Potter and his girlfriend by simply _running_ after them?

He knew –unlike the rest- that Potter wasn't an idiot. A lovesick fool, yes. But he still had enough brains to create enough charms and spells to confuse his master's low minions. And that was why he slinked away when they came across one of Potter's well-disguised shields. He couldn't just stay there with the rest to blindly play a losing cat-and-mouse game with two doomed Gryffindors. He was –and always had been- somebody to act for himself. He –Lucius Malfoy- would not just follow the crowd, knowing that he would face Voldemort's vengeful wrath eventually. He would kill Potter and Evans himself and prove to his master that he –and _only_ he- was Voldemort's most loyal servant.

The needle-like leaves around him were almost unbearable; always pricking and irritating him. But it was all worth it because a few yards away, he could see Evans and Potter having their own little –and _last_- chitchat together. Because he had to keep a fair distance between them, he couldn't hear a word they were saying, but he still kept an eye on even the tiniest movements to pinpoint the second when they were the most vulnerable. Then he would attack... and they would die. No question about that.

It had taken a very, _very_ long time for him to locate them. After all, his lord picked this forest for his hiding place for a reason: a mere traveler could easily get lost in the dangerous woods of Shadowmont Forest. Yet he never gave up; he crept slowly and steadily for what seemed like hours, making sure that all his movements were silent and that his presence was undetectable. He didn't yell or swear when the branches scratched him, or when he tripped over hidden roots. And now fate had decided to reward him: there they were, Dumbledore's fools. They had no idea he was there, and when they did, it would be too late. Voldemort would be very pleased with him.

----- ----- -----

He just stared at her. Stared and stared and practically gawked. Did he hear what he thought he heard...? She herself seemed almost dubious of her own words, but when she noticed that he was staring at her, she put on a brave face and opened her mouth.

"Will you...?" she inquired, her eyes set and serious.

He tried in vain to recompose himself, to act as if he wasn't astonished beyond words. _Will I...?_ he asked himself, yet he knew in his heart exactly what he wanted. But before he could react, the voices were back:

_She's just playing with you, taunting you with empty questions..._ they told him, cackling at his gullibility. _She's just asking you to make _herself_ feel better... she doesn't actually_ want_ this. _

He bit his lip at this sudden –and unwanted- realization. Although he didn't want to believe it, it was all too possible. But if it was really true... his heart shattered at the mere thought. It would be too much. What would happen to him...?

"James...?" Lily came to his side and tentatively put her hand on his shoulder, her lovely eyes filled with worry and concern.

He truly wanted to believe that she was sincere... but where was the proof? The odds were against him, and he forced himself to calm down and keep his look steady and unfazed as he simply gazed back at her, his eyes questioning if this was a horrid joke. After all... who ever heard of the _girl_ proposing to the guy?

"Seriously..." she quietly said after a long, uneasy minute of silence. "I love you, James... and I know that you love me, too. Wouldn't it be nice if we lived in a small, cozy cottage together?"

_It would_, he thought despite himself, even ignoring the savage mockeries of the voices for once.

"And it would just be the two of us," Lily continued, her voice soft and beginning to sound dreamy. "We would be surrounded by the calm woods –not at all like this horrible one. There would be no nosy neighbors, no worry about privacy... it would be perfect."

The enticing images were all too clear in his head, and his heart ached for them, even though he knew that the vision would never come true.

"And we'd have a baby... a boy maybe. With your messy jet-black hair and my 'huge alien-green eyes,'" she said, laughing a little, obviously remembering when he had called her beautiful emerald eyes alien-like.

"And... and his name would be Harry," she sighed happily, smiling in a way that melted his heart.

Her eyes were gazing at him with such warmth –such tenderness- that he couldn't help but believe everything she was saying. It _would_ be wonderful living with in a small, cozy cottage with her... just like in the fairytales. And the threatening voices in his head now seemed distant, as if said from far away. She now held his hands in hers, asking one more time:

"Will you marry me?"

And without another doubt in his head, he opened his mouth to answer.

----- ----- -----

Once she started, she couldn't stop. At first, innumerable doubts swirled in her mind, making her wonder if asking him such a sudden question was a wise decision at all. But then she started describing a scene to him; it was a fuzzy one at first, the first thing that popped in her head. But then, as she started telling about it more, she couldn't help long for them, and now she knew that she truly wanted to live with him... to _be_ with him. She really did want a small, cozy cottage in the peaceful woods. And she did want a boy named Harry...

"Yes."

Lily snapped out of her fantasies so quickly that she was dazed and didn't know where she was at first. Then she saw James' calm expression and remembered what he just said. Then she gasped in surprise. _He actually said yes!_ she thought, immensely surprised. _He actually accepted..._ A voice in her head told her that it was probably all just a dream, that when she woke up, she would be in her small apartment with Amos. But deep down, she knew that this was all reality, and she couldn't help mentally jump with joy at his answer.

Speaking of Amos... she didn't feel a bit concerned about him now, although she knew that he would want a lot of explaining after her disappearance... and her recent engagement with James. It surprised her that she only felt slightly guilty... _probably because James was first_, she told herself. She then turned to him and asked:

"You're not kidding, are you?"

James cracked one of his famous mischievous grins and asked:

"What do you think?"

Lily, after everything she had gone through, wasn't prepared for the answer, and she was quite caught off-guard by his sudden grin that finally brought back part of the carefree seventh-year boy she had known and loved... and still loved. James unexpectedly burst out laughing, and she couldn't help joining in, glad that the old James was returning... slowly and gradually, probably... but still.

"Ouch!" she flinched suddenly, gripping her injured shoulder tightly as more blood abruptly started flowing from the wound.

"Lily..." James, the laughter gone from his voice, gently grasped her hand, his eyes anxious as he inspected the terrible gash... that he created.

Muttering a healing charm under his breath, he lightly tapped his wand on the most vulnerable spot, and Lily immediately felt better. The blood had completely stopped flowing from the wound... and was it her or did it seem as if the gash was also starting to close?

"I'm sorry for all this," James whispered regretfully, his eyes closed.

"It's all right," Lily told him, her hand resting on his shoulder reassuringly. "Remember, you can't change the past but you can change the present," she then quoted his meaninful words and smiled.

He also smiled before gently leaning towards her, his arms unexpectedly finding their way to her waist. His face coming close to hers, Lily just closed her eyes and prepared herself for the perfect kiss.

Unfortunately, the long-awaited moment was the cue for a certain unwanted somebody to make his move. All of a sudden, Lucius –not even bothering covering his head with his hood- jumped out of his hiding place and screeched:

"_Avada Kedavra!_"

Forgetting the kiss, James pushed Lily to the ground, and both narrowly missed the fatal curse. Lucius, seeing that his aim didn't meet the target, swore loudly. This, fortunately, gave enough time for James to recompose himself, take out his wand, and bellow:

"_Petrificus Totalus!_"

Lucius managed to dodge the spell, and smirking, he spat:

"Potter, you piece of filth! You can't even aim right, can you? Well... say good-bye to your girlfriend now, because this is your last moment!"

"We'll see about that," James replied coolly, his eyes cold and hostile once more.

Gritting his teeth in absolute anger, Lucius raised his wand and was about to recite the killing curse again; however, James beat him to it with another Unforgivable:

"_Crucio!_"

The Death Eater instantaneously dropped to the ground as he writhed in pain, screaming. Lily stood aside, shocked and sad over the fact that James could change from the laughing, loving person she knew to a merciless killer in a matter of seconds.

"LILY!" he yelled to her. "Run and hide!"

"James... no!" she cried back, horrified at the thought.

Before he could answer back, Lucius rose again, the Cruciatus curse finally worn off.

"You'll pay dearly for that, Potter!" he roared furiously.

He then quickly raised his wand to perform the killing curse again. Unfortunately, he didn't raise it quickly enough, because before any of the three knew it, the Dark Lord's servant howled in pain as _something_ struck it.

"Wha...?" both Lily and James uttered those words before the _thing_, that was before hidden in the shadows, turned to an angle where they could see its face.

When they did, James' face paled and Lily gasped:

"A _werewolf!_"

The dreadful beast snarled ferociously, and its disgusting noises were soon accompanied by the furious, yet tired barking of a large black dog who soon appeared behind the werewolf, baring its teeth. The redhead girl stood, confused: she could see an appalled James mouth the word 'Sirius!'. The large, intimidating dog itself was covered in deep bruises and long scars, and it seemed as if it would collapse any second. Yet it still tried to battle the werewolf... as if _protecting_ someone. All of a sudden, the smaller animal seemed to notice Lily, James, and Lucius, and it seriously looked as if it gasped in surprise. _But... that's impossible!_ Lily pondered, staring at the dog in surprise.

"What the hell...?" Lucius asked, gawking at the werewolf in morbid fascination.

But he never finished his sentence because the drooling creature abruptly lifted him up and effortlessly _threw_ him, sending him flying miles away to the west.

"_LILY!_" James cried desperately, now begging Lily with pleading eyes. "Please... run and hide!"

"NO!" she answered ferociously. "I'll stay and help you fight!"

"You can't!"

"And why _not_!"

"Because I said so!"

"You –James Potter- are an egoistical prick and don't you think I'll just listen to you!"

Any further bickering was interrupted by a loud, authoritative bark of the large, black dog: it actually seemed to _roll_ its eyes at them. _Great, now I'm hallucinating_, Lily pondered wryly. The werewolf abruptly lunged at them, but the dog intervened the possibly fatal attack by jumping on its back, biting it with all its energy. However, the werewolf –although stopped in its tracks- merely swiped the dog onto the ground with one powerful strike of its paw. The animal futilely tried to rise again before its legs gave away and it collapsed. Lily felt like crying, even though she knew that it was just a black dog. Yet it felt as if she lost a friend... it had tried to _protect_ them.

Now with nobody to interfere, the werewolf advanced upon them again, grinning savagely. She then realized that she and James were yards apart... did he push her _that_ off to the side? With his wand tightly gripped in his hand, James tried to stupefy the beast, but the spell merely bounced harmlessly off the werewolf.

"Lily! Stupefy it on the count of three!"

"Wha...!"

The girl was quite cut off-guard by the statement, and she quickly grasped her wand and recited the spell just in time. Sadly, even with the power of two spells, it was still not enough to stupefy the werewolf completely, although it did become dazed for a few moments. Snarling furiously, saliva drooling from its deformed mouth, it darted away from James' trivial attacks and centered its attention on Lily. Shocked and frightened beyond words, the girl merely stood there, gaping at the mutated beast as it pounced on her. _Do something!_ her mind screamed, but her body did not obey. She faintly heard James' desperately crying her name; she faintly saw the sun finally rising and the moon gradually disappearing. And before she knew it...

James was on the ground in front of her, barely conscious as a horrid, revolting gash spilled blood all over his chest while the werewolf screamed an unbearable howl, twitching in pain on the ground.

"JAMES!" Lily screamed, her face ghost white as she gazed at the life liquid that was leaving James' body.

She immediately dropped to the ground to inspect his fatal wound.

"I'm sorry, Remus," she heard him murmur, yet she didn't know what he was talking about until she remembered something –but she couldn't think much about it _now_.

"_James!"_ Lily cried, sobbing. "Hold on! Don't give up!"

She recited all the healing charms she knew, urgently trying to close the wound, heal his body... _anything!_ However, nothing worked, and all Lily could do was watch James fight for air and endure the pain. In all her desperate attempt to heal James, she failed to realize that the werewolf was on its feet again, the Cruciatus curse evidently gone. Now it limped towards her, ready to finish her off once in for all. _I deserve it anyway,_ Lily thought angrily, staying at her spot and simply watching the foul beast come up to her. _I'm ready._

However, the werewolf suddenly screeched in absolute pain, abruptly turning around to face... the now arrived sun. _Of course!_ the girl pondered. _Now that the full moon is gone, it's going to change back..._ And sure enough, the werewolf gradually transformed back to a sandy-haired man wearing the same ragged clothes that the werewolf had worn. Falling to the ground, the stranger –no, _Remus_, Lily told herself- gasped for air before trying to slowly heave himself up again.

"Sirius!" he cried out in a scratchy voice, searching and finally finding the unconscious black dog.

He was about to run towards the injured animal when he saw Lily.

"_Lily!"_ he gasped, rubbing his eyes before goggling at the almost impossible sight. "What...? How...? Are you all right?"

Lily just nodded dumbly before pointing at James, who was now lying in a pool of his own blood. Remus turned and let out an even bigger gasp.

"Oh God!" he stuttered. "Prongs... _Prongs!_ What happened to you!"

"Hullo, Remus," James smiled bitterly before coughing out some blood.

"_Remus!_" Lily yelled to him. "You've got to help me!"

Immediately, Remus came and checked James' wound, only to come up with a sad conclusion.

"It's too deep of a wound for him to cope with for long," he told her, shaking his head sorrowfully. "No simple charm can even help him a bit, and even if we could get him to a hospital fast enough, I doubt that'll help at all."

"NO!" Lily cried, shaking her head angrily and unwilling to believe it. "He won't –he _can't-_ die like this! I won't let him!"

Remus sighed warily, extremely tired because of his terrible transformation.

"Go check on Padfoot, Moony," the other marauder finally spoke up.

"But-... but-..." Remus was about to come up with a perfect explanation on why he should stay with James instead of checking on Sirius when he was met by a meaningful stare to match his own.

"All right," he sighed almost reluctantly before running to the large dog.

"James... _James_..." Lily gasped once Remus was out of hearing range, her tears now flowing freely and staining James' face. "You can't leave _now_. You can't... we had so much... you can't..."

She sobbed even harder, frantically trying to stop the blood from flowing away from James' body, but to no avail: instead, her hands become completely crimson red, soaked completely from the blood. _He can't leave now,_ she thought, although the truth was now clear. _He just forgave me... we were planning for the future... he finally came back... it seemed like such a happy ending... it just _can't _end this way!_ Thinking of his empty eyes and his coldness towards her just hours before brought a fresh wave of tears as she tightly hugged and clinged onto the only person she would love this special way.

"Lils..." James whispered, his hazel eyes gazing steadily at her emerald ones.

"What is it, my love?" she asked softly.

He smiled wryly before murmuring sadly:

"I'm sorry, Lils. I promised you on that day... but I may not love you... forever."

And with that, he closed his eyes.

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**A/N**: Gah... so many imperfections... yet so many explanations to be said! Okay... (takes deep breath)... let me start first of all with the ending. Yes, I know, it was short and very predictable, although what would've been probably even _more_ predictable is _Lily_ sacrificing herself instead of James. However, I just want to torture Lily because... I'm evil. But trust me, you guys: this is _not_ the ending. There is going to be a major twist in the next chapter, and to those who love angst and have this mean desire to see Lily and James suffer... well, you guys will be satisfied... or maybe not. And I really hope that the ending isn't _that_ insufficient and predictable. After all, I didn't plan for this story to be this long in the first place, and I still like the ending.

Second of all... yes, I know... way. Too. Much. Fluff. ... I know I could've continued making James cold and mean even after he decided to join Dumbledore's side just to add more angst, but think about it: James and Lily were finally starting to hope for a better future when... BAM! Their dream gets shattered, leaving both of them more crestfallen than ever. Angsty, huh? (readers shake their heads and mutter about the author's absolute worst ability to make decent plots) It's especially bad for Lily, who is just starting to cling on the resurfacing light until all of a sudden, James is about to disappear just because of her. Lots of angst for Lily in next chapter.

And I'm terribly sorry if some of you think that I went to the climax too soon... Like I said before, this fanfic was planned to be short (it was originally supposed to be _four_ chapters long... not _nine!_). I'm thinking maybe one day –when I have _lots_ of time and if you guys really think that the ending is not enough- I'll replace the last chapters and make a longer and more unexpected one... maybe.

I had twenty-eight reviews since last Friday: I feel _so_ special! Thanks for those who gave me great advice and criticism! And I now have ultimately reached 100 reviews (sobs)... I'm _so_ happy... Anyway, the best reviewer of the (last) chapter is...

_I will not bow to you, Urei-Sama!_

You think you're _so_ great and all that and... and... Okay, I'll stop ranting about your bad traits (too many) and start talking about your good ones (too few)... You know I'm joking . Thanks for the great compliments and the accurate advice: I'll focus on everything you told me in my _next_ story . And you better get hit my inspiration soon... your DNAngel fanfic is too good to go to waste!

I would obviously also like to thank: Living In A Nightmare, kluvhp, HP-RFG-HG-DM (thanks for reviewing all my chapters and sorry if this chapter had an overdose of fluff), _Jennifer_, _AngieQ4936_ (a different opinon view... I like that; as you have also seen in this chapter, James does start to feel more than a little guilty...), crazyginnygirl, _Butterflybaby_, Charmed-103, x bluebelle x (feeling absolutely sarcastic on that day, didn't you?), Cherry Chalk, Chavela-Chica, James's girl (the third movie was absolutely awesome –although they should've mentioned the marauders more- and thanks for the award bows), crazy4padfoot, PatchLover08, Cecile Li (just because a chapter's fluffy, it does _not_ mean it's horrible... also, you'll get your mutat- I mean _purtyful_ Chihiro plushie), Amandinka, Lorelei6 (thanks for the long reviews! And one of your guesses –as you can now see- was so close to what actually happened in this chapter... was it that predictable?), _werepire_, _Nature Goddess09_ (you can't believe that, can you? Now... go and read the rest of my chapters... GO, GO, GO!).

I hope you all liked this chapter, because you have to admit that although it did end things a little too rapidly, it still had lots of action... right? Comments, criticism, advice (no flames please)...? Review please. The next chapter will be the final stage, and don't just think that you know what will happen despite the hints mentioned in this chapter... read on or be forever clueless. Arigatou.


	10. Epilogue

_Betrayed_

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**Summary**: Sometimes, the consequences of a betrayal are your worst nightmares.

**Disclaimer**: J.K. Rowling obviously owns everything that is related to Harry Potter. Do you think I'm Joanne...?

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James had died on that day.

No, she told herself, brushing the tears away. He had not truly _died_, but the most important part of him had faded away when he sacrificed himself for her. She let the tears fall freely as she remembered that terrible day that seemed to come from another lifetime.

Remus and Sirius had thought they were _lucky_ that James had even survived the huge impact, let alone come back from the hospital almost unscathed with only a trivial, healing wound. But they were wrong: hadn't they seen James' cold, empty –_soulless_- eyes back then? How his eyes had lost its special twinkle and how his voice had sounded dull and flat...? How had they missed all that..! It had been even worse than how he had acted when she had been captured by Voldemort, because she had known that there was some emotion hidden beneath those wintry eyes. Yet this time... behind the cold... there had been _nothing._ Absolutely _nothing._ She distinctly recalled that momentous day, the pictures as vivid as if all this just had just happened the day before:

Right after James lost consciousness, Remus had come to her with a scarred Sirius by his side. Although Lily was incredibly surprised by the other marauder's sudden presence, she had had no time to question on that: all she had thought about then was James' endangered life. Immediately, she had begged both of them for somebody to find a near hospital so they could get James there. The Animagus and the werewolf hadn't had much hope on James surviving, but finally they had been convinced and it had been decided that Lily would get out of the forest and find a hospital. It had been just a lucky coincidence that there had been a small hospital right outside Shadowmont Forest, but all three of them had been entirely grateful to whoever had had the insane idea to build a hospital near an almost deserted area.

Immediately after the girl had alerted them about the nearby hospital, Remus and Sirius had carried James all the way to it, although they had been both extremely wary and bruised. When they had insisted on doing that, Lily had felt a great surge of warmth wash upon her, realizing that Remus and Sirius probably cared about James as much as she did. The nurses and doctors had welcomed them with open arms, and soon James had been taken into the emergency room. A few hours had come and gone before the injured former Death Eater had come back from the operation, with the surgeon concluding sadly that James wouldn't have had a very good chance of surviving. She had burst into tears then, right in front of everybody, when he had stated this fact. She couldn't have stopped herself; the sheer thought of a life without James had terrified her –and still did now.

After a lot of comforting, Lily had finally calmed down, and James had been put into his own, small room. Sirius, Remus, and she had stayed by his side for almost six hours, waiting and hoping that he would open his eyes and tell them he was all right. After those hours had passed, the doctor had come and told them that they should stop hoping, pointing at the monitor that had showed James' slow pulse that the patient would probably die any minute. Yet James had proved all the well-learned doctors in the world wrong: a few minutes after the doctor had made that comment, he had showed signs of life, slightly twitching and his eyes occasionally fluttering. And an hour later, he had opened his eyes, staring at his two grateful best friends, the amazed doctor... and her.

But when she had gazed happily into his eyes, her heart had skipped a beat as she had realized in terror that those eyes –those frighteningly empty and lifeless eyes- were _not_ James'... because there had been no soul behind them. And that had been when she had _known_ that -no matter how delighted and amazed the doctors and the nurses all around the hospital had been; no matter how absurd it sounded- James had been dead all along.

And she had excused herself and cried hysterically in the washroom.

----- ----- -----

When James had opened his eyes, Remus had mentally caught his breath. Yes! he had told himself. Prongs –his best mate, his lifelong friend- was _alive!_ He had wanted to leap with joy and hug his friend in relief and gratitude. But when Remus had met his fellow marauder's gaze, he had done a double take: this hadn't been the James who always fought with the authorities... this hadn't been the James who always commented on his strictness and his disability to 'chill out'... no, this hadn't been the James he knew at all. Instead, he had been staring at an empty shell that had been formerly his best friend.

No, he had tried to convince himself. Remus, you are jumping to conclusions. Maybe everybody's eyes looked as empty as this when they were so close to death. He had bit his lip and hoped that he had been wrong, which had been the first time he had so desperately wanted _not_ to be right. Sadly, when he had tried talking to James, he had known that he hadn't been wrong: James had _gone_. It hadn't been as if his mate hadn't answered; it hadn't been as if his friend had glared at him and made it evident that he hadn't wanted Remus by his side. No... it had been the realization that although the soulless creature did talk and sometimes laugh, the familiar traits that had made James so extraordinary, so unique, were... gone.

No, I refuse to believe it, Remus had thought firmly. James is just... out of it for now. He would transform back to his normal, hyper self; he would become once again his best mate. He would... eventually.

----- ----- -----

Prongs... Prongs! Where are you...? His eyes had been shouting these questions as he had gazed at his injured friend. Although Sirius hadn't been able to know exactly what had been wrong with James, the moment his best mate had opened his eyes... he had known –by his instincts- that something... something was _missing_. _But how can that be...?_ he had thought then, desperately trying to come up with an explanation. How could James have so abruptly changed after the incident? Was it even possible...? However, after gazing at and talking with his fellow marauder, he had definitely known that something was wrong. Yet... Sirius hadn't been able to pinpoint _what_ was wrong.

Yes, he had realized that James hadn't had the laughter in his voice when he had spoken to Sirius. Yes, he had known that James had been somewhat slow and his voice was flat. However, if that was all... he shouldn't' have been that worried, right? After all, James _had_ only narrowly escaped death... wouldn't it be natural if he had been somewhat lethargic...? _Yes, it is_, Sirius had pondered, even slightly scolding himself for even thinking otherwise. _Prongs will snap out of it soon enough_.

Yet Padfoot hadn't gazed into the windows of James' nonexistent soul.

----- ----- -----

After the horrid realization, she hadn't seen the point of going along with the engagement. After all, she had thought bitterly as tears had once again threatened to flow, she wouldn't marry the James she knew... because he was gone. Yet she had known that she had had to keep her promise: her promise that she _did_ love him... the unsaid promise that she _would_ marry him. _Maybe this is a punishment_, she had pondered after a while, _maybe this is what I deserve after crushing him so cruelly, with no thought that maybe I still _did _love him_. And with that thought in her mind, Lily had been more determined than ever to proceed with the engagement.

Breaking the news to Amos hadn't been hard at all after she had experienced the past, heartbreaking event. True, he had stared at her in utter surprise, disbelief, and horror when she had told him that not only had she refused his proposal, but she had been already engaged... with her ex. It had taken some time until she had made him digest all this new, sudden information, and when he had finally comprehended, they had had an atrocious row. Amos had kept ranting on and on about her betraying him, lying to him about how much she had loved him. However, Lily had only listened vaguely, because she had known that compared to the betrayal James had experienced, this was truly _nothing_. And when she had moved from Amos' apartment, he had almost literally thrown all her possessions out of the window. Not that she had really cared.

Lily had never told anybody about what had happened when she had been captured. She had known that there hadn't been any point to doing so; James shouldn't have been blamed for the actions he had done in the castle, and even if he _had_ been to blame, he wouldn't have been there to listen anyway. Sirius and Remus thankfully hadn't questioned her further when she had told them that she hadn't felt like going into details, merely telling them that she had found James also captured in the castle and they had both managed to escape. And in a way, this had been the truth. Remus had also never known that he had been responsible for giving James that deep and possibly fatal gash.

Lily had just explained to both him and Sirius that she hadn't quite remembered what had happened because of the sudden speed of the occurrence. Once again, because they had sensed her grief and her desire to stop going on, they hadn't pestered her any further, although sometimes Lily would've wondered why they had been so compassionate to just receive only half of the explanation. The reason she hadn't wanted Remus to find out had been because she hadn't wanted him to blame himself for James' near death, for it truly hadn't been his fault: after all, he had had absolutely no control when he had transformed in a werewolf.

Somehow she had also known that even if Remus hadn't given the wound to him, Fate would've found another way to kill him. It had been a dumb assumption, considering the odds, but deep inside, Lily had known that this would've probably been true. And she had also known that it had been because of _her_ that James had died, although this belief was even more farfetched than the last. Yet... to her, it was a hard fact.

It truly seemed as if nobody else had noticed James' abrupt transformation. When she had announced the plan to her parents, they had been completely enthusiastic, claiming that they had always thought that James would have been perfect for her. Soon after that, they had invited James over for dinner, and they all had a merry conversation while eating a lavish dinner. However, every time she had gazed at James during that night, he had seemed... so empty, even though he had contributed well to the conversation and had even laughed slightly. And sometimes, Lily had wished to scream at her parents, telling them about the accident and how James had changed for the worst. However, she had just kept her mouth shut, knowing that the accident would've just frightened her parents and that they wouldn't have believed about James' change. And when James had returned to his apartment, she had immediately excused herself to sob in her washroom.

It seemed that she had done a lot of crying these days. When she had realized that James' parents had been murdered by Voldemort's Death Eaters shortly after James' and her escape from his castle, she had consoled him –although she had known that there had been no point- and cried on his shoulder. And sometimes, she had burst into tears so unexpectedly that her environment had become concerned. Yet she had just waved them off, telling those who knew about the event that she had been crying in relief that James was alive, and those who didn't that she had been crying in happiness because of her future wedding. However, she had been truly crying to weep for James' unknown death, and every time she had seen his soulless eyes, she had felt like sobbing.

Sometimes James would've come alive again, showing signs of his past, relaxed nature. One time he would tease her about her 'huge alien green eyes' at the most unexpected times, and another time he would suddenly crack one of his unique jokes or smile his signature feared grin –the grin that had warned many teachers in the past that he had been plotting something. However, this had happened so rarely, and Lily had always yearned for the next time she would see –even for a short second- the old James she loved so much. _Maybe_, she had sometimes hoped, _that James isn't dead. Maybe..._ she had begged constantly to the gods above, _that he's still there somewhere, deep inside the emptiness in his eyes._

One of the longest times James had stayed with her had been during their wedding. Lily had looked absolutely stunning in her simple, yet beautiful snow white wedding dress made from the softest cotton and the finest silk: the dress had dragged down only slightly compared to the other huge, bulky ones that were often seen in fancy weddings, the sleeves had been semi-transparent, showing her clear, light skin, and the dress itself had shown her slender figure. James had looked extremely handsome with his tuxedo and his jet-black untamed hair. Everyone had commented on how they had looked totally adorable together, and Sirius had teased them about how they had appeared exactly like the two small figures on top of a wedding cake.

"Will you, James Adrian Potter, take Lily Cecilia Evans as your lawful wife?" the priest had finally asked James after going on and on about the importance of marriage.

"Yes," he had answered, and Lily's heart had broken as she had realized that it had still been the empty shell replying.

"Will you, Lily Cecilia Evans, take James Adrian Potter as your lawful husband?" the priest had then turned to her, almost repeating the question in a dull voice.

"Yes," she had replied steadily, trying not to let her immense sadness show.

"I now pronounce you man and wife!" the priest had declared in a mighty voice. "You may now kiss the bride."

And then it had happened: James' hazel eyes had once again twinkled as he had leaned down to her, grinning and whispering tenderly:

"I love you, Lils."

"James...?" she had gasped, unable to believe it.

He had merely cut her sentence short by sealing her lips with a fierce and passionate kiss, and once again, Lily had prayed to the Heaven above that he would stay this way, becoming the old, laughing James again. Sadly, when he had withdrawn, James had disappeared to be replaced by nothing but empty eyes... as always. Lily's heart had felt as if it had been shattered to innumerable pieces, and the only thing she had wanted to do then had been to lock herself into an empty room to cry and cherish the vivid memory.

However, as the newly wed bride, she had known that she had had an important duty to execute. So instead of letting her extreme emotions show, Lily had pasted a gracious smile on her face as she had gone around, talking to the guests and pretending to spread around a non-existing sense of happiness.

Soon, as she had wanted, Lily had given birth to their first baby, and as they had planned, he had been named Harry. Both mother and father had tended the baby with care, and as months had gone by, Lily had noticed that James had often become himself again around his son. He would sometimes lift Harry high in the sky, gazing at him with love and tenderness before hugging his baby fiercely and caressing the messy jet-black hair that was so much like his own. However, James had still been as distant as before with Lily, yet she had not really cared because as long as he had contributed enough to Harry, she would forget her infinite sadness... knowing that only Harry truly mattered. And as more months had come and gone, she had soon held on to the hope that maybe James _would_ come back gradually, because it had seemed as if he had become more and more happy and carefree around Harry.

Soon, Lily had begun to smile like she had used to before the drastic event. Her hope had grown as she had held on to Harry, the closest thing that had reminded of her of the past James. Something inside had assured her that her son would grow into a smart, extraordinary, and brilliant boy who would bring good changes to the future. And she could have _barely_ waited until she herself would witness those bright events. Unfortunately, this was not to be.

----- ----- -----

It happened on a Halloween night. Lily was sitting comfortably on an armchair, reading a fairytale to Harry in a soft voice. His eyes were half-closed as he listened to his mother, and gazing tenderly at her son, Lily could feel her heart swell with love. She didn't realize that for once since the awful event, she had completely forgotten about her deep sorrow.

Harry had just fallen asleep on her lap when all of a sudden, James burst into the room, his eyes alight with fear and panic.

"Lily!" he called her, piercing his eyes into hers. "Take Harry and _go!_"

"What...?" she immediately stood up, immediately realizing that James had come back again and wondering what he was talking about.

"It's _Him!_" he gasped, his eyes pleading for her to run. She gasped and hurriedly picked up Harry as he continued, "Go! Run! I'll hold him off-..."

Lily didn't hear the rest of it as she dashed off upstairs, hoping not to wake her sleeping son who was now ignorant about the grave danger around him. _Please God_, she prayed, gently putting Harry into his cradle. _Please don't let Him get us... please don't let him get _Harry Tears started flowing and she started to sob while also gently rocking her son's cradle. _I know I did many horribly wrong things in my life, but please- for James' and my sake... please protect Harry!_

And unexpectedly, she heard a door burst open and a cackle of high-pitched laughter.

"So Potter, I see that you've decided to marry Evans, haven't you?" Voldemort leered, cackling maliciously. "Well, good for you... too bad you won't live long to enjoy it."

"Get out," James hissed dangerously, pointing his wand at his enemy.

"My, my... you surely don't have any manners, do you?" the Evil One pretended to look at James wearily.

The brave Gryffindor merely stood unfazed, still in a battle position. The Dark Lord simply smirked before drawling:

"And how does it feel... to have your wish come... true?"

For a moment, James stared at Voldemort with a surprised expression before he scowled and calmly warned:

"Don't come near my family."

"I'm sorry, Potter, but I don't have a choice."

James knew that there was no use continuing their useless conversation, so instead, he raised his wand and bellowed:

"_Expelliarmus!_"

However, Voldemort quickly dodged the spell with a defense charm. Shaking his head in feigned disappointment, the Evil One sighed and said:

"And I thought that you knew the extent of my power." Suddenly, his voice grew serious as he snarled contemptuously, "Potter, you should've never changed sides. Why did you when you _knew_ that it would come to this...! You are a fool, and you always had been."

James just ignored the insults, gazing impassively at his adversary. He was trying to give as much time as possible to Lily and Harry; his life no longer mattered because he knew that he was doomed.

"Yes, you _are_ doomed," Voldemort leered, clearly reading his thoughts. "And you could've always avoided it. Good-bye, Potter."

And with that, the Dark Lord raised his wand and roared:

"_Avada Kedavra!"_

Before the Unforgivable hit him, a torrent of thoughts swirled in James' mind. He hadn't really tried to battle Voldemort because he knew that there was no point: he would lose in the end. But he had tried to buy as much time as possible, desperately attempting to save the only thing that mattered to him now. Lily had already faded away, beyond reach... and he knew that it was also too late for her.

_I'm sorry, Lils... for that wish._

However, he still wanted to give a chance –even if it was a tiny one- to Harry. His son had a chance to live, to have friends, to have fun... to fall in love. And before James fell to the ground dead, he thought...

_Harry, go find your special somebody. And don't make the same mistakes... I did._

**...: Owari :...

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**A/N:** I had worked on this story for more than two months, and I'm finally done with it... _go me!_ (supreme victory dance) Ahem... I know that this fanfic (compared to most) is very short, but remember: it was supposed to be originally _four_ chapters... and how many chapters are there now? _Ten._ So technically, this story is much longer than I thought it would be, which is good... right? And just for the rare people who would want to know, if there had been four chapters, the first chapter would be... just the first chapter, the second chapter would be chapter two and three combined, the third chapter would be chapter four to nine, and the final chapter –the epilogue- would be... this chapter. I'm glad now that I had decided to break it up .

This is the first serious fanfic I had _ever_ managed to finish: once again, I'm so proud of myself! And I never expected to have so many reviews, and I'm so grateful for those who took their time to do so! You guys are the best! And I guess I only expected few reviews because... like I said before, this fanfic was intended to be quite short... I –for the first time- passed the 100 mark! WAHOO!

Next case: although this chapter isn't so bad, I wished that I could've done better... I'm seriously not so good at doing chapters with barely any dialogue. I really need to work on that skill, so please, if you have good criticism (cough Urei-sama cough), please include it in your reviews! Arigatou. Do you guys think the end is okay? I knew I had a better ending somewhere in my mind, but it got lost in the traffic... But I think that this ending is fair, too... but if you have a better suggestion for the ending (I mean the last sentence that James thinks before he's dead), please tell me and I'll consider it . And I also hope I portrayed Lily's thoughts and emotions well, too!

The epilogue may be confusing for some, and you may think that it isn't so good. Yet there is a puzzle to put together here that'll really clarify and make this story seem _much_ better, and I think it's quite easy to figure it out: if you still don't know, think of a wish and the effect of a chain reaction. I hope you get it, and if you don't, you can always review and drop your e-mail address so I can send you a message that'll completely spell it out for you .

I am _so_ happy: this story is finally done! readers roll eyes because of the author's constant repetition I didn't get so many reviews for the last chapter, but no biggie . Anyways, the best (and last) reviewer of the (last) chapter is... drum roll...

_Thanks for all your reviews, crazy4padfoot!_

It was hard to choose the winner this time, though... but crazy4padfoot; you have the plushy/transfiguration potion because you commented on the actions of the characters, which is another style of criticism that I never got before. Because of that, you're the winner! claps Once again, _gracias_ for your reviews... like I said so many times before, they helped immensely!

And I would also like to thank:

_Miranda_, _sirius' lover xxTxx_, Tanydwr, HP-RFG-DM-HG (maybe you _are_ hanging out with Paige too much :P... and thanks!), Charmed-103, James's girl (thanks for your great review and your brief –and somewhat confusing- lesson on Filipino... I'll come to you the next time I travel to the Philippines ), Urei-Sama (I'll just let you have the plushy... angst lover, aren't you? I hope you liked this chapter), Living In A Nightmare (I'm an evil, evil person...), x bluebelle x (yes, if the last chapter was the ending, it would be terrible. And I know that you think that my story is way too short, so I hope you really liked this chapter... and if you _really_ want me to make this story longer, come back to bug me _two_ year later!), and _naturegoddess09_ (I'm glad that you're continuing to read the story, and I hope you finish it by the end of this summer! And try to add more to your reviews please).

Now, since this is the _last_ chapter, there are some people I _really_ want to thank:

**Living In A Nightmare**: You have supported me since the dawn of time (or of this story)! Thanks for all your devoted reviews, I'm evil, and I hope you're enjoying Sirius' motorcycle!

**xbluebellex**: I don't know why I should especially thank _you_... )dodges as a banana is thrown)... Okay, okay: although you pestered me to no end, I guess you irritating me did encourage me to write this story... so arigatou!

**Urei-Sama**: Thanks so much for your criticism! I now know the finer points I need to improve on to make my story better! I hope you'll find time to read and review my other stories, too! Remember, my story is now updated, in case you're wondering!

**James's girl**: I thank you greatly for your unique reviews and your short lesson on Filipino. Kamusta?

**Lorelei6**: I loved all your three long and detailed reviews! They were really fun to read and I hope I'll hear from you soon!

**crazy4padfoot**: The three things you told me really boosted up my self-esteem so _mucho gracias!_

I hope you won't be offended if you weren't mentioned. I have too many reviews to thank all of you, but I just want to know that you all made me feel so special... sothank-you to the unmentioned reviewers!

Also, I just posted another Harry Potter fanfic: this time it's a one-shot and it's called The Last Marauder. If you have time, I would greatly appreciate if you read and reviewed it. And Urei-Sama: you _definitely_ should read it, because... you read the story and you'll know. Although this fanfic is mostly about tragedy and angst, it does have a light ending, so I encourage you to check it out!

For now, this story is done. I have put _a lot_ of effort in this story, and in the end, it had all been worth it. I know that I have a lot of things to improve on: after all, I'm still an amateur writer. But I'm glad that my one finished fanfic had been a hit, and I hope there will be many other hits for me to come. Once again, thank-you for all those who encouraged me and I hope I'll hear from you again for my other –and hopefully better- stories. Until next time. If there _will_ beone...

... **Y** **. Sunshine** ...


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